When the Sky Turns to Rust
by Kvetching Canoodle
Summary: Modern AU. Kenshin might be the best in the business, but it doesn't mean he's perfect. Katsura decides to give him a break.
1. Chapter 1

So, yet another college AU. I'm not sure whether or not I should apologize for this.

Anyways, I had to modernize his looks a little to keep at least some semblance of realism (but his eyes still change color because I just love that) and rather than it be a revolution he fights in, it's an international assassination network. Which, yes, means OCs. None of them are going to be playing a big part. I tried to keep his background as intact as I could while still having it make sense.

I'm also not sure if there will be pairings (if there are, it'll be with canon pairings unless requested otherwise, which would honest to go shock me), so if you want one suggest.

Warning: slight self-inflicted injuring, PTSD, and probably something else I haven't thought up yet.

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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After Kenshin passed out from a week from not eating and he discovered evidence of self-inflicted injuries, Katsura decides it was finally time to give him a break.

"_Why_?" Kenshin asks the day after he's released from hospital, staring at him incredulously. "I'm fine, seriously."

The dilation of his pupils from the recently started medication and the records from the hospital say otherwise. Katsura answers, "You're the youngest we ever started, Kenshin. By a long shot. I think the five years is starting to get you. That's considered long service for even an adult."

The boy fidgets in his chair. His hair has been recently washed, half dried and not yet its usual wreck. A lot of times it's difficult for Katsura not to separate Himura Kenshin the World's Greatest Assassin from Himura Kenshin, the sweet, shy eighteen-year-old. For him, it isn't as much of a problem as it is for some of the other members with a similar problem; he's the only one who can treat Kenshin like a kid without him getting frustrated.

"It's not getting to me."

"You're getting more self-destructive by the day."

There's a moment of silence. Then, "I always forget to eat, that's nothing new. And I get itchy when I'm nervous, so what?"

Maybe he should've let one of the other higher ups do this because Kenshin wouldn't get so mouthy with anyone other than him. Just like he knows he has to finish this quickly before the kid gets that rare wounded puppy look that always makes him hesitate. Katsura is supposed to be a fearsome leader of an underground, world-class assassins' network, which goes entirely against getting to know one of his employees as well the two of them know each other. It's all his fault too, for recruiting the first (and last) assassin below the age of twenty-one. Below twenty-one by a lot, too.

Or maybe it's just because he's the person who discovered their number one squeaks when poked. Yeah, it can definitely be that.

He tries to explain, "Just because it's normal for you doesn't make common or okay." Again, a moment of silence. "Look, I'm not saying you're crazy or anything, Kenshin. I'm saying I think you should take a break. Besides, you don't like killing in the first place."

"Yeah, I don't." It's unusual for an assassin to say that outright, or even believe it at all, but the kid said it to him quite bluntly after the death of his girlfriend two years ago. And Katsura would be lying if he said he doesn't understand. "That doesn't mean—I guess that, well, I don't know. I feel like I should be helping."

Considering that Kenshin is both stubborn as hell and loyal to the point of fault, the answer isn't all that surprising. Sometimes Katsura wishes he could get through his head that sometimes the best way to help is just to take care of himself. And he needs to find some sort of compromise, so he says, "If we get a big hit, we'll contact you, okay?" Kenshin look at him warily, obviously trying to judge whether or not this is true. Sometimes having someone this perceptive as an employee isn't a good thing. He holds back a groan. "You aren't going to be cut off or anything. We'll keep you at regular contact if you want, and it's not like we're planning on committing you. The psychiatrist agreed too; you have to get of here."

There comes a tightening of his shoulders at the word "psychiatrist" which means Katsura hit a nerve. Even so, he can see Kenshin bending which means he isn't as opposed to the idea as he thinks he is.

"What would I do anyway?" he asks, relaxing a little again. A good sign. Maybe it's the pupil dilation or something, but his eyes looked bigger than before. Bigger and bluer. This is the first time in a while that he's seen Kenshin with that color. "My skill set doesn't exactly reach past what I do now, you know."

Oh, yeah. That's a pretty legitimate problem right there. "I don't know?" he answers. He needed him out of this environment and fast. "Go to college or something. You're the age of a freshman and you're reading all the time. I'm sure you must've gotten enough stuck in your brain by this point to actually get a real education."

"Katsura, I'm awful with people," Kenshin says, "and college involves dorm rooms. As in living with actual, real life human beings."

"Who don't know who you are," he points out. "Meeting people is a good thing and you haven't been around anyone your own age in literal years. As long as you keep your mouth shut and try to relax, you'll be fine. Friends are a good thing."

"Friends" is a foreign word when it comes to Kenshin. Even before he stumbled across the network at the age of thirteen, he wasn't much of a people-person apparently. Assassinating as a way to keep a living definitely doesn't help.

The kid looks at him with no definable expression on his face. Then he says, "God, you're being serious about the college thing."

"Why wouldn't I be?" he answers. "It's a good idea and considering that you look younger than your age rather than older, there's not much you can besides go to school. I started working here when I was college, you know. A chem. major at University of Westminster. I loved it."

"Fine," he says. "But can't I—well, I don't know, commute or something? Do I _have _to stay in a dorm?" Before he can answer, the boy runs his fingers through his drying hair and adds, "You don't want me left alone. That's it, isn't it?"

For about the thousandth time, Katsura thinks that having a perceptive employee isn't always a good thing. "Yes," he says bluntly. "I don't think I've ever seen you scratch around people before and you can't have weapons. This is me being honest. You happy?"

Obviously trying to hide how upset he was (because Kenshin isn't the only perceptive one in this room), he says, "I'm fine, I promised I would try to stop it and everything and I'm already medicated. Isn't that—actually, okay, you win."

Katsura blinks. He hadn't expected it to be this easy. "What?" he says before he can catch himself.

"I know you," Kenshin answers. "If I put up too much of a fight, you'll tell the psychiatrist who'll tell someone who can kick me out and cut me off for good."

He hesitates before saying, "Yes, that's probably how it would happen. I'm being re-stationed in Boston for a while if you want to look for a school in that area. Allen's decided to switch Ricky and me."

"Why?" Katsura shrugs. "Fine. I'll look into it. How long do I have?"

Having the boy be agreeable to this extent is rare when it comes to something that's more of an suggestion than an order, so he jumps on this chance before the stubbornness comes back. "Well," he says, "it's July right now, so deadlines and everything have already passed. I'll talk to one of the forgers in to getting you into the system as a waitlisted student with credentials good enough to make the administration wonder why you weren't accepted straight in the first place."

"Okay," Kenshin says. "What am I supposed to do about my scar? I can't exactly keep it permanently covered up and I bet at least one political science major will figure it out."

The scar. Right. That's another problem he should've already thought of, but he's been a little preoccupied with the transfer and Kenshin ending up in the hospital. Though he hadn't been in critical condition, it was enough to freak everybody out, and by this point Katsura has heard several coworkers say that it makes sense, that someone that good had be at least a little fucked in the head. He says, "We'll deal with that when the time comes. For now just look for a school. It doesn't have to be in that area if you don't want. Here, you can even use my computer to do it right now."

Kenshin shoots him a scathing look that means it hasn't slipped past him that he's not being left alone here either. Admittedly, it could be worse; he isn't using a kitchen knife to slit his wrists or anything and it sure as hell wasn't a suicide attempt, but self-harm is still self-harm even if it is done mostly unconsciously. He accepts the laptop held out to him flips it open.

And so the search begins.

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This is how Kenshin ends up in a college two hours out of Boston that sits nestled between an apple orchard and a lake because it was one of the schools in the area that still waitlisted into August. That, and it wasn't in a city. He decided that since he's been forced to take a break in everything else, he might as well take a break from the metropolitan life too. As a kid who spent the first thirteen years of his life in rural towns, large urban areas aren't exactly his thing.

"I can do this by myself," he tells his boss as he grabs his one suitcase and a backpack from the trunk of the car. He'd always liked Katsura and Katsura had always liked him, but since The Incident the man's been more worried about him than usually is. And not bothering to hide it for once, either. "It's not that hard."

"Everyone else has families dropping them off," Katsura says. "You said you want to blend in."

While yeah, he did say that, he knows it'll be borderline impossible anyway. The square bandage feels rough on his cheek. Short, messy red hair and eyes that unexplainably change color are pretty catching too. Being small doesn't help either—in America, five four is considered way below average and coupled with the fact that he barely weighs over a hundred pounds, he still looks like a high school student, like a scrawny freshman. "You don't exactly look old enough to be dad," he says, even though in actuality Katsura is thirty-six and easily could be if he messed up at a young-ish age.

He knows he's sulking, but he can't help it. Sure, his work is dissatisfying because he honest to God hates killing, but he still feels obligated to help. Since he was a kid he's been doing this as a career and he doesn't know what to do now that he's suddenly living without it.

"I drove you here," Katsura says, "and I don't feel like jumping back into the car right a way."

It's a flimsy excuse and they both know it. "I'm room two twenty-one A," he says because he doesn't feel like arguing and flimsy excuse or not, most people in their business have a thing against cars. Unless they're parents, but that's a whole different matter altogether.

His boss looks relieved as he locks the car and the two began getting themselves through the doors into Hollingsworth Hall. Kenshin carries his suitcase, backpack slung over one shoulder, and Katsura has the much easier job of bringing up the bedding. By this point, most students are on their second or third trip up, but he had less stuff than most people. That's the thing about assassins: they learn to travel light.

Unfortunately college students don't and this isn't something he's thought of yet.

The two of them are quiet as they walk, Kenshin too annoyed, wrapped up in his own thoughts, and Katsura thinking who knows what. Hopefully his roommate isn't going to be a disaster because he isn't in the mood for any problems or drama. All he wants to lay low for a while, complete a job if called, and at least make it seem like he has his head on straight. There's a minor issues with that, though, as his definition of staying sane isn't like Katsura's or the psychiatrist or any of his other coworkers and higher ups who don't understand that what he does doesn't really matter.

The door to suite 221 is open when they arrive, as well as the doors to the two rooms inside. His is the one on the left and his roommate is already in there, talking to what looks like an older brother while his mom helps him make the bed. The way the kid stands makes Kenshin think this will be the last time those sheets actually look at that.

As he lowers his stuff onto the bed, his roommate's brother notices him. "Hey!" he says, face lighting up at the side of him and Kenshin doesn't know how to deal with happy. "So you're the one who has to put up with this idiot all year?"

Oh, great. That sounds promising. "Uh, yeah," he answers. "I'm Kenshin Himura. This is my—uncle, Katsura."

"Sanosuke Sagara," says his roommate. "This is my mom and my brother Sozo."

If Katsura feels him tense from where he stands next to him, he doesn't let on. "Nice to meet you," he says, followed by an echo of everyone else.

"I'm Chiyo," says Sanosuke's mom, hurrying around her boys to shake their hands. Meeting people like this is not one of Kenshin's strong points. Actually, very, very few things are now that he thinks about it. "Sozo and I were about to head out, but I'm so glad I got to meet you first."

"You too?" he says, and it sounds like a question. As the woman turns back around to smother her son in an overpowering hug, he says to Katsura, "Don't you have to leave too?"

"Yeah, I probably should," answers his boss. "Sorry I couldn't stay any longer."

"It's fine."

"Call me if you need anything."

"Okay."

In actuality, not having to enter a building filled with rushing families by himself was an unexpected relief, but he isn't planning on letting Katsura know that any time soon.

The five of them all exchange a very awkward goodbye, ending with Sozo giving him a warning about Sanosuke being a brat as he leaves. Katsura leaves too, no touchy-feely things involved because this isn't an infiltration (though just in general, Kenshin doing one was rare) so there wasn't the need for any carefully crafted parts to play. After door swings shut behind Chiyo, the two boys are left alone.

Then there's a moment of loss because Kenshin doesn't know what to do. The last person his own age he'd communicated with was—well, that was a different situation. He shoves it quick to the back of his mind but doesn't have long to dwell on it because Sanosuke asks, "So, you like X-Box?"

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Review if you like please! And if you want a pairing. Sorry this chapter is kind of slow.


	2. Chapter 2

So, middle part is kind of slow because I'm just introducing the main canon characters (there will be no main OCs). Thank you for the support!

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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Though the first day isn't enough to judge anything, he knows, he thinks that dorm living isn't as bad as he thought it would be.

For one, everyone was always awake, so his insomnia isn't looked upon as something totally weird. For another, his roommate doesn't hate him right away, which isn't something he's used it. Even if it's tentative, he makes to decision to at least put forward some effort to like the boy back. He's Japanese too, which seems a little too coincidental, but it doesn't actually matter one way or the other. Despite his name, hopefully the red hair and blue eyes will throw people off because anything to stop people from being suspicious is a good thing.

And even years later, he still hates The Traitor with a passion for releasing a partial description of him to the public. Because really, fuck him.

"So where're you from?" asks Sanosuke as they spend the first night playing video games. Kenshin can count on one hand the number of times he's done this since he turned thirteen, but he thankfully isn't terrible.

Since he doesn't want to tell the truth, he lies, "Boston, you?" because he can hide his real accent well enough. It helps that it isn't too strong to begin with.

"Wanaque," the other boy answers, "in Jersey."

They play some game called _Left 4 Dead _with zombies and Kenshin can aim better in real life than he can with a controller, which is weird when he thinks about it. It's right after a meeting with their RA, some junior named Tyler with a last name he didn't quite catch. This might not be as bad as he expected, but he still feels tense and awkward, glancing at his phone every few minutes because it feels like he's going through news withdrawal. Back at his apartment, he was one of the first to learn anything.

"What's it like?" he says because he can't think of anything else and he's pretty sure normal people his age actually talk.

With a shrug, Sano says, "Small town, I guess. Nothing special. How's Boston?"

He answers with a shrug of his own because he doesn't really know what to say to that. Sure, he's been to the city a few times, but it was usually in the financial district and involved an assignment. The most exciting he'd ever done there was go to Faneuil Hall with—

Katsura lives on Beacon Hill now, he remembers. "Too many tourists where I live," he says. "It's annoying."

"I've never been there," Sano says. "I live real close to New York, though, which would be cool if I didn't hate musicals."

"Musicals?"

"My mom makes Sozo and I go with her every Christmas."

Before Sano can say anything else, they make it into the last safe house and unlock some achievement. Kenshin can't think of anything else to say, so he appreciates it when the other kid shuts up too and they can go onto the next level with minimal words used.

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Sanosuke is a typical college student; he drinks, he parties, girls drunk or sober fall all over him, he plays sports. Basically, he's a social person. An incredibly social person actually. And because of this, he isn't really sure what to make of his new roommate.

The guy's younger than him, but not by much, and looks fifteen (the fact that he's a good four inches shorter than Sanosuke is a big contributing factor) but it's obvious that chicks start getting interested pretty fast anyway. They're stuck in the same Orientation group like most roommates and he finds out almost immediately that Kenshin doesn't talk much. Probably isn't much of a partier either, Sano guesses, and if he is, he's definitely a lightweight. Hopefully he isn't one of these preachy straightedge kids either because after his last girlfriend, Sano doesn't want to deal with it again.

"We're playing Two Truths and a Lie," Sarah, their Orientation leader, says, sounding more bored than most of the others he's come in contact with so far. They're sitting on desks in room 206 in Monroe, the building that apparently holds languages and history. Every minute of this stupid thing that passes makes Sano feel more and more like he's back in summer camp. He hates being treated like a kid and that's all he can think. "Let's go…um, counterclockwise. Introduce yourself first so I can take attendance—name, major, where you're from, if you're a freshman or transfer student. Sit next to someone you don't know well, person next to the speaker has to guess."

The first is some chick with blue eyes and black hair that's pulled back tight into a ponytail and looks like the exact type of girl he's likely to end up in bed with. "I'm Kaoru Kamiya," she says with a bright smile that makes her seem _way _too happy, "and I'm a freshman majoring in Nineteenth Century history from New Hampshire. Um, I was born in Nagasaki, I have a kitten named Snowflake, and I have a thirteen-year-old brother."

The guy next to her stares for a moment before saying, "Uh, you don't have a kitten?"

With a shake of her head, she answers, "I'm from Tokyo, not Nagasaki."

Sano knew that from the moment she said it. Though he didn't know live in Tokyo himself for all that long, he can still recognize the accent, no matter how slight, from a mile away. Turns out the guy's name is Zack, he's from Maine, and he had a ex-girlfriend who turned out to be a lesbian and lives in a town named Bath. The next few students follow in the same vein of disinteresting and if everyone in the school's this boring he might just kill himself out of annoyance by the first part. _Especially _if his roommate turns out to be the Preachy Straightedge Kid.

Then all halts comes to a screeching halt when he realizes the two girls next to him, as well as Kenshin on the other side of him, are all Japanese too. What the hell, did whoever organized these groups shove all the Asian people (and a kid with a Japanese name who may or may not actually be of that ethnic origin, what with the red hair and all) in one group? How racist is that?

"I'm Miaso Muzyki," says the first girl who he instantly pegs as hyperactive. She's fidgeting big time. "I'm a freshman nutrition major from New York. When I was a kid I wanted to be a ninja, my worst subject is French, and my parents own a restaurant."

By this point Sarah's on her cell phone, only half paying attention, and Sano wonders why they have to do this when no one wants to be here. The girl between the two of them says, "Your parents own a restaurant."

The Miaso girl frowns. "Yeah," she says. "They own an inn."

"Cool," says their Orientation leader and for a moment he gets a glimpse of the Spider Solitaire game she has going on the screen. Real responsible, Sarah Stevens.

"Well I'm a freshman majoring in pre-med from Hartford," says the other girl and Sano suddenly realizes that _damn _she's hot. "My name's Megumi Takani. I want to be a neurosurgeon, my favorite color's green, and everyone in my family since my great-great grandfather has been some form of doctor."

He paid way more attention to her than he thought he would, so it's less of a guess than it should've been when he answers, "You don't want to be a neurosurgeon."

"I want to be a pediatrician."

This game is just so boring. After this is dinner though, which is awesome. The Dining Commons' food is a thousand times better than his mom's cooking. Sozo's is better, of course, but considering that he doesn't live with them anymore it doesn't count.

He says, "I'm Sanosuke Sagara, a freshman physical training major from New Jersey—" Some asshole kid snickers, but he shuts him up with a glare. He scrambled to think of three things, but there aren't many interesting things to say about himself that he feels comfortable mentioning in front of an Orientation leader, even one who isn't paying any attention at all. Maybe everyone else is the same way. Instead he says, "I've been through seven surgeries, played basketball in high school, and got hit by a car when I was sixteen."

This actually got Sarah to look up, which means mission accomplished. It always felt great being the most interesting one in a group. And the odds of anyone guessing the right answer seems pretty—

"You haven't had seven surgeries," his roommate says, looking at him blankly, catching him off guard. Wasn't Two Truths and a Lie supposed to act like those 'what doesn't belong' multiple choice tests? Sano nods, annoyed even though he's used to not being right. After a moment that makes it clear he isn't going to elaborate (it's for dramatic effect—in truth he's only had two), the guy continues, "I'm Kenshin Himura from Boston, a freshman and I haven't declared my major yet. Uh, my mom was Scottish, I lived in England for a year, and I got bitten by a squirrel when I was six."

Normally Sano isn't good at picking up on little details, but he catches the fact that Kenshin said _was _rather than _is_. Makes sense why his uncle dropped him off, then. On the other side of Kenshin is Sarah and she guesses, "Your mom isn't Scottish?"

"I lived in Ireland, not England," he answers to her sort-of question, leaving off the no. Again, Sano doesn't mean to pick up on it, but he can't help but notice that she said _is_n't, which means she hadn't caught the past tense at all.

Then Sarah rattles off something dull and disinteresting that the Kamiya chick gets the right answer to before they're all allowed to run off. The D.C.'s going to be packed, he thinks. "You should come eat with us," he tells Megumi because she's the hottest girl he's seen since his ex and he won't pretend that he isn't shallow. "Us," of course, is referring to he and Kenshin even though he hasn't actually asked his roommate yet. He doesn't seem to mind though because he pauses and stops next to him.

Megumi arches a brow and analyzes him like he's something to be studied before answering, "I'm eating with Miaso and—"

Then Kaoru cuts her off, blue eyes all wide and yeah, definitely way too cheerful for him. "We'd _love _too!" she says, gaze flicking back and forth between the two boys. Having all five of them eat together isn't something he wants but he can't exactly say that now. When he agrees, she continues, "Awesome!" Megumi doesn't look to happy about this.

For some reason, that's satisfying.

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A small confession: Kenshin has almost no sense of smell.

Most people don't expect this and with good reason. His hearing, eyesight, and sense of touch are so acute that his coworkers assume he's like that with everything. This isn't true though, and his ability to taste and smell is abysmal.

Unfortunately, this causes a small problem. Whenever something is strong enough, it makes him feel nauseous. And college nights, he discovers, are horrible for that.

"Don't worry, I don't do that shit," Sanosuke says as he pulls a school hoodie over his head. Their mascot's an owl that looks more like a cardinal. They'd been walking back from dinner when they'd been hit by a face full of weed and Kenshin actually gagged. "Nothing additive's going anywhere near me."

Again, it's one of those moments he can't think of anything to say, so he just sticks with "Okay."

Tomorrow at eight they need to wake up for some sort of Orientation thing so it's somewhat surprising that the majority of campus is going out partying. This was one of the biggest causes of hesitation he had when Katsura first suggested college as an actual thing to do. But while on it one hand it'll suck if his roommate stumbles back into the suite drunk every night of the weekend, it means getting some time to himself.

Not that he plans on doing anything like Katsura and his new psychiatrist seem to think. It's just that he really does need at least small snippets of alone time. Though he isn't sure if he's a recluse by nature or if he was forced into it, but it's hard enough to deal with people in short bursts, let alone all the time. So he needs some time to essentially recharge himself, to get his head back on track. Since he has no target and there's so much going on all around him, he's been distracted by getting bombarded with too much stuff at once and needs to get that focus back. Hopefully he'll figure out away to avoid it in the future because he honestly doubts anyone will find him here.

Or maybe that's wishful thinking.

Sano asks, "Are you use you don't want to come? Those girls are coming and Miaso managed to get an invite to the Baseball House. Somehow."

Why that's so special Kenshin has no idea, but he decides to ask. "I'm sure," he says instead. Even if it goes against the college norm, he also doesn't think it'll draw any suspicion and outside of that he doesn't care about what his classmates think of him. "Maybe next time."

They both know he won't. "Right," the other boy answers skeptically. "You might have to wake me up tomorrow, for the record."

"Should I have Advil on standby?"

The boy grins, carefree and wolfish. "Nah," he answers. "If I get a hangover, I deserve to suffer the consequences. You know, for being an idiot."

Honestly, Kenshin can't tell if this is logical talking or not. Self-awareness? Maybe. Whatever. But at the moment the kid's sober so at least there's that. Again he says, "Okay."

"Great," says Sano. "See'ya, Himura."

San leaves and he's blessedly alone; for a moment it feels wonderful. Then reality of the silence comes crashing back down and outside he hears the sound screaming. Automatically his body tenses up before realizes that it's drunk people and no one sounds terrified of anything. Still, his body won't relax now that he's wound up from the initial reaction and his sensitivity spikes. All of the sudden it's like he feels the entire dorm room humming with energy, closing in on him, the air suffocating and thick, the sounds outside building into a roar.

Everything's hitting him to hard and too fast, so he shuts his eyes and pushes his palms over his ears, willing it to all go away. His heartbeat was going at a rate about ten times to fast, his breathing coming in quick and shallow. By this point he knows what a panic attack is and this is definitely the beginnings of one. His last apartment was in Dublin and the one before that in Kyoto. Even though he grew up in rural neighborhoods, he's gotten used to cities by this point and city noises. In the country, it's much easier to mistake drunken screeching and laughing with the screams of past victims.

He snaps out of it when he feels one of his hands twitch, short nails digging into his own palm, and moves it, glaring down at his slightly indented skin. It was an accident, of course, an unconscious thing, but it's still a reminder as to why he's here in the first place. The panic begins to bleed away, caused by a mix between the sudden discomfort and remembering how everyone's overreacting. Now everyone's out there helping and he's stuck in some Massachusetts university with a roommate who parties and a class schedule with courses that he may or may not be up to par with.

Outside, the drunken noises continue.

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So, you know the drill.


	3. Chapter 3

So, I had four people tell me they want Tomoe and Kenshin as a pairing (two over review, one over PM, and one straight to my face) which means it'll probably be that. If you want something else, suggest.

Also, this has an actual plot right now. Yay!

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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Kaoru fell in love with Kenshin almost immediately, which is in direct violation of the promise she made for herself in high school: no boys her freshman year of college.

But she just can't help it, she thinks as he sits down next to her in Freshman Comp that they conveniently have together, an awkward sort of smile on his face. The bandage used for an injury that's origins he skirts around talking about is still on his cheek, but doesn't take away from his looks at all. Everyone in the world thinks she's weird, but she's always had a thing for gingers. It's a character flaw.

She asks him, "So what took you so long?"

"What?"

"One minute more and you would've been late."

"Oh." He shrugs. "I guess my suitemate took longer in the shower than I thought. Which sucks because now I can't get coffee."

Like most college students, to two of them live off of caffeine. The teacher enters, smiling at all of them, but goes about shuffling papers before she speaks. Her name's Professor Dunn and she looks like an English-a-fied version of Kaoru's grandma. "Want the rest of mine?" she says, holding the travelling mug out of him. "I don't have cooties anymore, I swear."

Again, that awkward smile. God is he gorgeous. And a right-brained, leftist atheist who wasn't even fully Japanese, which means the grandma Professor Dunn resembles would hate him by principle alone. Thankfully her parents wouldn't care, but if anything ever happened between them (which she shouldn't be thinking about this early on but whatever, sometimes having a crush is fun) she'll have to hear the dreaded lecture her mom warned her about. At least he doesn't drink much or smoke at all, which is a plus. He eyes the mug warily.

"It's yours," he says. "I don't need coffee that desperately."

Considering that he's as addicted to caffeine as much as she is and there's no way she'll be able to finish this medium, she feels okay in insisting. "I seriously don't want the rest and throwing out half of a perfectly good coffee is a sin."

Dark blue eyes search her face, like he's scanning for a lie. Well he must fine none because she's legitimately telling the truth. His "Sure, thanks" is drowned out by Professor Dunn says, "Welcome to Why We Create. This composition course will focus on the products of human imagination and creative works throughout history. Did anyone have trouble getting your books?"

A few people half raise their hands. Something about the way the woman talks makes Kaoru like her instantly. Kenshin has his notebook flipped to an open page already, pen poised to talk notes. He's definitely used to this, or at least way more than she is. His side of the room is like that too, almost OCD level neat while Sano's looks like a tornado went through it. Hers and Miaso's isn't much better.

Professor Dunn talks—about literature, mythology, art, music, athletics—and Kenshin starts talking notes halfway in, done with his coffee by that point. She supposes that this must be a sign that she's meant to too, so she pulls out her notebook and follows his example. Her handwriting is bubbly and easily legible and teachers have loved her for it for years. This professor seems like she's the type to as well, which is awesome. Unlike most of her friends, she has this irrational fear that all teachers will automatically hate her.

"We cover material by time period and study whatever I find interesting that was invented then," the professor continues. "For how people is this their first class?" Now almost everyone raises their hand, Kenshin and Kaoru included. "I'll have you know that college isn't like high school. Professors are specialists and I'm one of the few with an education major. You won't get the same helicopter learning as you did in your pre-university career."

This is something she knows already. Though her mom works for an advertising company called Blue Zebra, her dad's both a teacher for juniors and seniors in high school and an adjunct Calculus professor for a university near her town. Unlike her and Mom, Dad's something of a walking stereotype right down to his black belt, glasses, and bad driving. Vaguely, as she thinks of this, she wonders what Kenshin's and Sano's families are like because neither talk about them much. Of course Megumi doesn't either, but Kaoru's known her for literal years and there's no Takani trivia that she hasn't at least heard secondhand.

Mom isn't exactly quiet when she talks on the phone.

Professor Dunn says, "Your homework is to write a paragraph or two on what you personally believe human creation is. This is due Wednesday. Don't expect all assignments to be this easy. I hope all of you enjoy your the rest of your first two days."

They've been released to the outside world a whole ten minutes early, which seems like a good sign, though hopefully she won't be this inattentive in the only other class she has today. Human Physiology isn't exactly her best subject in the world and she hates the idea that she'll be pestering Miaso and Megumi to quiz her before tests for the rest of the semester. Kaoru hates asking for help more than anything.

"Do you want to go to the DC?" she asks Kenshin as they gather their stuff and exit, but he has a distracted look of his own on his face, which can't possibly bode well. "What?" he answers. "Oh, sorry. I can't. Philosophy beckons."

She feels her heart sink, but tries not show it. She's starting to get that feeling that Kenshin can read minds, though that doesn't make any sense. It's just that he gets this look on his face sometimes that even after a week she's memorized, and it seems so analytical. Like something out of Sherlock Holmes, except eighteen and not a detective.

"Want to get dinner?" she says. "My last class is at four, so I'll be out by like five fifteen."

"Sure," he says, walking with her down the hall and up the stairs that connect to Peters, the academic building behind it. "We can go at six." Before they split ways, he adds, "Thanks for inviting me."

"No problem!" she answers though she feels quite sad.

Later he's shadowed by Sano and she gets shadowed by Miaso and all she can think is _I'll never get this kid alone._

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A freaking out Kenshin is never a good Kenshin and he's about five seconds away from having a mental breakdown on his phone.

Since he is just about the most unlucky person in the world, Katsura didn't answer his call even though he promised. He hadn't checked in yet either and though it's already been two years since his life first went to hell, he's still paranoid. If his boss was the type of person to break promises, he might believe that he didn't answer because neither of them are used to having cell phones in the first place, but that can't be it. The man always does exactly what he says he will.

If he calls again, he reasons, Katsura won't mind. It might get him worried, but it's doubtful it'll make him annoyed. And the more wound up he gets, the more he starts scratching, something he doesn't notice until Sano opens the door.

As he hadn't exactly been paying attention, the sudden scrape of the door opening causes him to jump in surprise. "Jesus," says his roommate as he tries to calm his racing heart rate. Suddenly his arm hurts and he realizes that though he told himself he'd stop, he's still doing it. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm fine," Kenshin says, and it's mostly true. He's embarrassed, sure, but a second person being with him suddenly calms him down, which is unexpected. Normally being around people makes everything worse. "I was just surprised is all."

Sano drops his bag on his bed. "Dude, what's wrong?" he asks and the fact that Kenshin's being this transparent is freaking him out. He hadn't expected being cut off to affect him to this degree.

Saying "I'm fine" again will be a blatant lie and he doesn't want anyone to get suspicious, so he lies, "My aunt had surgery today and she should be out now. My uncle said he'd call when it was done."

"What does she have?"

People are so nosy, Kenshin thinks.

"Lung cancer." It's the first disease that comes to mind and he just realized that if he needs to suddenly leave on an assignment, a sick family member is a pretty good excuse. "He should've called half an hour ago."

"My mom does shit like that to me all the time," Sano says. "My dad's got MS, so I know how you feel." Okay, so maybe a diseased family member _isn't _the best excuse in the world. "Want to go to the Student's Center to get your mind off of it?"

Since there's nothing else to say and it's probably better for Kenshin to be out rather than get stuck in his own head, he answers, "Sure. Just—" Conveniently, his phone goes off and he sighs in relief. "Mind waiting a minute?"

"Yeah, sure, take your time."

Kenshin slides his finger across the phone and steps out of the room as he answers. "_Nani ga machigatte iru nodeshou ka_?" he asks immediately, ignoring hello and reverting back to Japanese without really thinking about it.

"_English, kid_," Katsura reminds him and, oh yeah, most people in this school are vaguely confused about his ethnic origins and it was safest to leave it ambiguous. "_And nothing, I was just talking to Allen. He wanted to make sure the phone was working okay_."

Technology is an easy thing to track, which is why the network decided to step back a few years. Few people had phones and most messages were passed in code, delivered usually by people who didn't know what it meant. Rather than guns or anything that can be traced, older weaponry was used. Most of the members had jobs and families under their actual names to avoid suspicious even more, or disappeared off the face of the earth with no identity at all. There's a reason why it's considered strange if more than one person is caught over the course of a decade and even one person is rare.

But, if technology is necessary for an infiltration, family reasons, or abnormal occurrences like this one, the network has its own company and nothing important is said. It's a last case scenario a lot of times and doesn't always work.

"Right," he says, wondering why he didn't think of this earlier. The anxiety bleeds away. "How'd Aunt Ikumatsu's surgery go?"

This is the safest way to let Katsura know what the lie is. "_It_ _went fine_," he answers. "_The doctor said she's out of critical condition. I'll let you know if anything changes_."

Kenshin is outside in the hallway, hidden away in the little nook everyone uses to call their parents. But it's noon now, and everyone's either in class or in the D.C. "Thanks," he says, running his fingers through his air to stop himself from scratching. Now that he has nothing else to accidently hurt himself with, the use of his nails has gotten worse. And he needs to end this before someone finds out and cuts him off quickly and he can't stand the thought of that. He'd spend the rest of his life wondering if they needed help, what was going on, if everyone was safe.

Kenshin's biggest flaw is other people.

His boss asks, "_How're you doing on your end_? Do _you like your school_?"

This part of the conversation needs no code. "It's okay," he answers, playing with a loose string on his jeans. Guys pants aren't exactly made for people who're only five four, so the ends tended to become tattered pretty quickly. "My roommate's nice and my only boring class is anatomy, but that's a given."

Anatomy for him is a breeze because killing takes an understanding of the human body. "_I thought it would be_," says Katsura. "_Are you—feeling all right_?"

There it is, the dreaded question. He looks down at the scratch marks on his arm and the area where his shirt covers the marks on his side. Needless to say, it's a struggle. "I'm fine," he answers. "I mean, because of the D.C. and everything I actually remember to eat. Unfortunately the food here all sucks, but it's college."

"_Have you thrown up from it at all_?"

"A few times, yeah."

"_Avoid the French fries_. _The last thing you need is to end up in the hospital from food poisoning_."

They talk for a few minutes long about classes and how Aunt Ikumatsu's lung cancer is and tentatively touch on the subject of Kenshin's new medication before finally hanging up. The silence of the midday dorm hall kills him.

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Hope you enjoyed. :3 Suggest if you want pairings.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay, so fifth person telling me that Tomoe/Kenshin is good as a pairing, which is honestly surprising. So, yeah, this is officially Tomoe/Kenshin.

I won't change the characters involved because enough guests probably find this by plugging in the exact search that I kind of can't.

Also, this chapter is really happy and whatnot, but this is pretty much the last time it's going to be like that. I want to get the actual plot started.

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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Kenshin falls into routine relatively quickly and is almost surprised by how much he actual enjoys it here. It's like he's made for school—he reads fast, he has a better memory than he thought, he eventually gets up the nerve to raise his hand in class, and in general discovers a barely tapped into love of learning. His favorite teacher is his English Comp one and she gets the idea in his head to be a possible writing major. And it's not until she signs the slip declaring this official that it finally dawns on him that he'll be here for the next four years, surrounded by people who like him genuinely and completely without a hint of fear.

And though he's hiding so much, he decides that being liked is a pretty good feeling.

On a Thursday, a little over a month since school started and ten minutes after he comes back from a run through the orchards, Sanosuke says to him, "So, on a scale from one to ten, how gay will it be if we go apple picking with the girls?"

"Not at all," he says, pulling a pajama shirt over his head and taking the baggy t-shirt he wearing earlier out from underneath it. After this long, Sanosuke no longer looks at him weird, apparently having gotten used to his self-consciousness and habits. "I mean, at least I don't think so. I've never been apple picking. Why?"

"Megumi invited us," his roommate answers, catching him by surprise. Normally an idea like this would come from Miaso or Kaoru and honestly, he can't exactly imagine Megumi going anywhere where there's a risk of getting herself dirty. Her obsession with cleanliness makes Kenshin look messy. "And apparently Yahiko's coming up for the day or something, so Kaoru thought it would be a good way to keep him occupied."

Though they've heard a lot about Kaoru's little brother, neither of the boys have met him yet. Even though the three girls live states apart, their parents had been best friends and they'd spent most of their holidays together. Like family. This year Kenshin's been invited to Thanksgiving with Sanosuke and he hasn't done anything like since Tomoe was able to convince him to go her house three years ago for Christmas and that hadn't gone over too well. Her parents might not have known about what he did for a living, but they managed to hate him immediately anyway.

Oh, another thing about college: Kenshin can finally say Tomoe's name, or at least in his head. Telling people about her…not so much. And he doesn't think that'll ever happen.

"Good," Sano says and Kenshin checks the clock. It's past midnight and he left for his run at ten thirty. Really, his ability to stay in shape without ever stepping foot in a gym is kind of nice. "Because I kind of already said yes."

Distracted, he answers, "Cool." Even college student vernacular has rubbed off of him. "It's Thursday, why aren't you out?"

His friend shrugs. "Just didn't feel like it. It's only been a month and I'm already sick of the party scene here. It's stupid and I swear to god, if another chick throws up on me, I will fucking kill her."

Somehow, Sano has managed to have this particular incident happen a good three times. Kenshin has had this happen to him only once, and Miaso's kept her promise since then to never get that bad again. He nods absentmindedly and picks up his phone. It was charging and he'd forgotten to take it off and bring it with him. No missed call, but Katsura had contacted him last time which means he's supposed to reciprocate this weekend. When his boss told him that he'd stay a consistent contact, he hadn't been lying, which was a little flattering. Truthfully, he thought it was just an lie to get him to leave.

Because, really, Katsura might be something resembling family by this point but he isn't impervious to manipulation every once in a while, same as the rest of them.

He tells his roommate, "Since I don't feel like talking outside in the hallway on a Thursday night and I don't want to send you outside, do you mind hearing a really weird conversation?"

Even if he hates doing this both for personal reasons and consideration of Sanosuke's potential awkwardness, he can't help it. "I don't care," he says, so Kenshin makes the call.

Katsura picks up his phone on the third ring.

"_You're late._"

As he hops up on his bed, he answers, "Sorry about that, I was going for a run. How're you?"

"_Great. What about you?_"

"Fine. Tired, but, you know, Klonopin."

"_True. So it's working? You aren't doing anything stupid?_"

It's not too much of a lie when he says, "I haven't done anything in a while." A while, of course, meant about two days, but incidents were getting more spaced out and not as bad. He hadn't made himself bleed in about two weeks and it wasn't on purpose anymore. "How's Aunt Ikumatsu?"

Somehow, Katsura's wife who's always managed to stay out of involvement has become their code for the network. His boss' sigh almost makes him cringe. "_She's still okay_," he says, "_but not great._"

"How bad?"

"_I don't want to talk about it over the phone. Would you mind if I came over for an hour or so on Wednesday? It feels to serious to not say face to face._"

Maybe it's the stabilization caused by the medication or just how relaxed he's been the past few days, but the prospect of seeing someone familiar makes him giddy even if it does mean he'll be assigned his first job since he came to school. It's been two months since his last one and for a while he was the most regularly used. There's always someone in the world who needs killing. If they worked for legitimate governments, no one would ever stop working, Philippe once told him.

"I never have anything to do, so yeah, sure," he says. "Classes stop for me around two."

"_How does three sound?_"

That, conveniently, gives him time to finish class and still be able to eat with whoever's around (which probably means Kaoru) because "D.C. Chilling," as Megumi puts it, sucks to do alone even when it's quick.

"Perfect," he answers. "See you Wednesday?"

"_Of course_," Katsura says. "_Should I give Ikumatsu your love?_"

They haven't exactly said that before to have it get grouped in with the general code, but Kenshin's pretty sure it means he'll be agreeing or declining an assignment without even knowing what it is. This isn't the first time they've pulled this on him.

Surprisingly, he isn't too reluctant when he says, "You know how it is, I can't say no to that."

Another sigh and Sanosuke turns up the power of the fan that is pressed flush against the open window, turning the hot air cold.

"_I know, kid. Keep safe and don't do anything stupid. I'll talk to you when I come down._"

"Yeah, you too," he says, getting distracted now by the rattling of the propellers. Sometimes they sound like distant, muffled gunshots, and he has to struggle to keep himself in the present. He has a feeling that if he weren't so drugged up, it might've happened by now. Recently, though, it hasn't even been a threat. "Bye, Uncle Katsura."

They hang up and there's a moment of nothing before Sanosuke says, "That wasn't awkward." Yeah, he supposes it really wasn't from an outsider's point of view because that was a barely coded conversation. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

This is never a question that means anything good, but Kenshin has a pretty good idea about what it'll be and even though it's not exactly the greatest one in the world, it isn't terrible either. And they've been roommates long enough that he knows Sano's unlikely to tell anyone. It's such a minor secret, too. Or at least comparatively.

"Sure," he says.

"What're you medicated for?"

So he's right. "Anxiety, depression, PTSD, and bipolar disorder," he answers. "I probably should've told you earlier, sorry."

Sano shrugs. "Don't worry about it," he says. "I get it. You don't want people to know your damage. I'm dyslexic, if it makes you feel any better."

This is information he's already deduced on his own, but he still says, "That sucks. I'm sure you get this all the time, but if you need a proofreader, I can do it."

"Thanks." Sano's looking away from him, obviously embarrassed and Kenshin's in a similar state. Both because of the admittance and his own offer. He hasn't been able to share or offer help in a really long time and has apparently forgotten how kind of nice it is to be needed for stupid, mundane things. This is a chance to do something that doesn't involve some of his more guilt-inducing skills and maybe that's why the idea of going through another assignment isn't killing him. "Hey, want to get pizza?"

"Sano, it's twelve-forty in the morning."

"So?"

Personally, he doesn't understand the whole eating in the middle of the night thing, but who's he to judge? This whole (not so bad) mess all began because he hadn't eaten in so long that his blood sugar dropped low enough to cause him to faint. Now _that's _embarrassing. Also, he happens to be the only college kid in the world that the "freshman fifteen" did something good on. He ate healthy, so it didn't go into fat or anything, but the regular eating patterns actually helped him to reach over one hundred pounds. Sure, one o' five isn't much of an improvement, but still. It's at least something.

He says, "Ask one of the girls. Miaso and Kaoru probably need something in their system by this point."

"No drunk people," Sano answers firmly. "I don't feel like dealing with it tonight and hey, you get a night off from being the sober one. Megumi can be the babysitter for once."

Not needing to be the caretaker for once actually sounds like a good thing, but he still doesn't want pizza. "Tomorrow," he says. "I seriously won't be able to eat anything right now and it's discounted on Fridays anyway."

Again, Sano shrugs. "I guess. We get free garlic bread out of it too."

This is the first time in his life that Kenshin's actually been surrounded by agreeable people. For once, he understands why everyone hates his stubbornness so much. Comparatively, it must be really annoying even if it does make all of them hypocrites.

After all, no one in the world is more stubborn than his godfather.

"Want to finally watch _Zombieland_?" he asks, rubbing his fingers through his messy hair.

Sano agrees and they spend the next eighty-eight minutes watching the most cheerful zombie movie ever made.

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Katsura shows up at three sharp and Kenshin is out in the visitor's parking lot waiting. It's around eighty outside and way too hot for his normal sweater and jeans, so this is the first time he's been stuck in a t-shirt in a long time. He's gone most of the day with his arms crossed, trying to hide the scars, both recent and old. His boss' first, unfortunately expected reaction is, "Wow, kid, you're actually starting to look healthy."

He had a feeling something like this was going to be said and he has to refrain from rolling his eyes. Being around Sano too much has rubbed off on him more than he expected it would. "I managed to gain ten pounds, so I finally weigh more than ninety-six," he says, running his fingers through his hair. It seems to be his new, minor stress reliever. "How long're you here for? Because my roommate's gone for the next hour."

"It shouldn't take long," Katsura answers, locking his car, "or at least not the bulk of it. It's pretty straight forward, just not on the level as most people can take."

Really, Kenshin knows he shouldn't be as okay with this as he is at the moment, but he gets it and that's what sucks. There're a lot things he can do that other people can't and even now, years later, he has the compulsive need to help as much as he can. From the look on Katsura's face, though, he can tell that this is the last thing the man wants to do. Another thing he isn't used to: people other than Okami openly worrying about him.

"How's Boston?" he asks as he swipes his card to get into the building. Every time he does this he feels like someone out of a James Bond movie, though he's more like a villain than a protagonist.

"I prefer Kyoto, but it's not bad," he says. "Ikumatsu likes the neighborhood we're in right now and she's been talking about having kids."

The thought of Katsura having a baby is almost funny, though he wouldn't make a bad dad, or at least in Kenshin's opinion. He doesn't exactly have much positive experience to go on. "Do you want to?"

His boss shrugs. "Bringing one child into this mess was a bad decision," he says and Kenshin isn't sure whether to feel offended or not, "but if I find a way to keep a son or daughter out of it, then I guess so. And Ikumatsu's thirty right now and I don't think she wants to wait much longer."

Having this conversation is somewhat surreal, but something's changed. The two of them like each other, sure, but because of the age difference they were never actually "friends." This is less awkward than it could be. "I think my mom was thirty-five when she had me," he says and can feel Katsura's surprise. He isn't typically one to talk about anything traumatic that happened in his past and his parents definitely count. Even he finds it a little weird, this admittance and he's not sure what he can blame this change on. Thankfully, because either of them can elaborate on his unanticipated oddness, they reach his suite. He adds, "My room's kind of a mess. My roommate doesn't care about being organized."

"I didn't care in college either," Katsura says as Kenshin punches the code into the lock and opens the door. It doesn't look like Sano's class hasn't been released early because it's past the forty minute mark and he'd be back already if it was. "You said we only have an hour, right?"

"Roughly," he answers and takes a seat on a dresser. Katsura sits on his bed. "What's going on?"

Now that they're away from the risk of running into other students, the man's general calmness fades. Already he can see exactly how much he's needed for this. "I didn't want to call you in this early, but it's something of an emergency," he says. "Someone's been attacking our sponsors. Three are already dead and it's something of a bloodbath at every site. Forensics says that it looks like most of the mutilation comes post-mortem."

This isn't the first time something like this has happened, but it's usually an accident. Their sponsors were mostly the ridiculously wealthy or politicians and at least one person in the world wants someone like that dead. Rarely are instances like this explicitly given to him, as he's more handed actual assassinations. That's the thing about being smart; he knows how to be untraceable. Hard assignments go to him because he's the best and killing another assassin doesn't take much effort after said person is already found.

So to be asked to do this when he's been told that he's pretty much on leave is unnerving.

Before he can ask, Katsura continues, "He sends notes when he's going to kill someone, calls himself the Black Hat." Oh, so it's one of _those _types of people. "And last time he left a note, too. Stapled it to Markov's forehead like something out of a movie. It's addressed to you."

Kenshin feels a chill go up his spine. Truth is that he's still messed up from two years ago and knows it and he's struggling to keep back any of the memories that risk flooding him. PTSD is a curse, plain and simple.

"You mean, you know, Battousai, right?" he says, suddenly feeling nervous and jumpy for about the first time in a week. _Please don't let this be like last time_, he thinks. "Not Kenshin?"

"Yes." Oh, thank god. "It's a taunt, though. He gave a the location of enough target and two plane tickets from Germany. It's in New York City, but it looks like he doesn't know where you are."

"Why Germany?" Again, Katsura shrugs. "Real helpful."

The man looks him straight in the face, obviously scanning for something. Then he says, "If you're not okay with this, we can send someone else. You know, just get a makeup artist to slap on a scar on some other ginger's face. I don't want to put you on another assignment if you think you can't come out of it without reverting back."

If this really wasn't serious, they would've done this suggestion already. Either that or the higher-ups are still a little sore with Katsura putting him on leave. He doesn't think the whole self-destructive tendencies were really explained. Also if they had, he probably wouldn't still be in contact in the first place, considered a liability, stuck here and cut off from the past five years of his life. And at eighteen, five years is a long time.

"I can do it," he answers. Then, because Katsura will need a head's up for this, he adds, "I might be a little messed up coming straight out of it, but I'll be fine within a day. When?"

"Sunday," he says. "Nine o' clock. It takes about five and a half hours to get to New York by train and I've already gotten you tickets. They go straight to Penn Station and you should arrive around five ten according to the itinerary, but you're coming to Boston first. I have your weapon. Bring something to do and eat for the train ride."

Five ten gave him about four hours to kill in the City, which is fine by him. Even though it's for an assignment, Kenshin's always liked visiting there. It's one of the few happy memories he has from childhood, too. He nods. "Okay," he says. "What time's my train home?"

"Six in the morning," Katsura says. "It's the earliest one we could get, and you're coming back to Boston first. I don't want you immediately going from a job to here. I'll drive you. When's your first class on Mondays?"

"Not until three."

"You'll be tired, but it should work out." Kenshin checks the clock. Their hour's almost up. Katsura seems to have noticed it too. "Well, I better go. Ikumatsu's trying out some Italian recipe that she swears is good."

As he hopped off the dresser, he says, "Good luck with that." Ikumatsu is a notoriously bad cook.

He leads his "uncle" back to the car and their conversations turns surface level again, discussing how his classes are going and why he decided to become an English major. Despite what transpired for the last forty-five minutes, this whole thing makes him feel like a real college student—which he is. Because somehow, Himura Kenshin, the world's most renowned killer, is a kid in an average school with an average major walking an adult to a car and discussing everyday life. His cheek hasn't bled since June.

For the first time in two years, he actually feels happy.

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This feeling of elation continues into Saturday even as the events meant to transpire the next day hang heavy on his mind. As promised, he and Sanosuke accompany the girls to the open apple orchard a half an hour's walk from school because apparently Megumi got the idea in her head to make a pie. How she was going to make a pie in the Hollingsworth kitchen is something of a mystery, but she's pulled off enough stuff that Kenshin's decided to run with it. If he can balance out planning out a kill and writing a position paper on whether or not the Americans should've bombed Auschwitz, then she can make desserts in college. Everyone has their talents. Most just aren't as depressing as his.

"Kenshin, get your ass up here!" Miaso yells down to him as he stretches out his arm to grab a Granny Smith from one of the middle-ish branches. He made the horrible mistake of telling her he used to climb trees all the time as a kid and she decided that the two of them were going to get all the good ones at the top. She practically ninja-ed (a word Kaoru has used to describe him more than once, ironically) her way up the tree and since he promised, he has to follow.

Even not using his full speed, he makes to the top faster than she did and takes a seat on one of the highest branches, glad that he's light enough that it can take his weight. From here he can Megumi and Kaoru fighting over something far enough way that he can barely hear anything, and Yahiko pestering Sano for stories of his old high school fights. Finding out that his roommate fought a lot in school didn't come as much of surprise and as long as Sanosuke doesn't try to fight him, Kenshin doesn't care.

Miaso asks, "So, what time are you going to be back on Monday?"

If it were up to him, he wouldn't have told them (he feels like it's involving them even though they're totally clueless), but since his absence will be noticeable to people he actually spends time with, he needed to think up an excuse. Using the whole My Aunt Has Lung Cancer thing really does work.

"Unless the train breaks down, then probably about eleven thirty," he answers. The other four assume that he's leaving around eight-forty-five, so he's going to have to hide how tired he is. He's one of those people that just can't sleep on public transportation. If anyone were to try to wake him up, odds are that he'd attack and he can't risk that.

"Oh good," she says. "That way you won't be half asleep in Professor Malcolm's for once."

"Yeah, probably."

Kenshin reaches up to the branch above them and grabs an apple, rubbing it on his shirt before taking a bite. Down below Kaoru and Megumi's argument was getting more heated but he knows better now than to try and intervene to calm them down. Fighting seems like the defining aspect of their friendship and even though he doesn't understand how this is possible, all of these conflicts are apparently done out of affection. Whatever that means.

Yahiko is a bundle of energy, less annoying than most thirteen-year-olds and even though they don't look alike, he'd know the boy is Kaoru's brother without needing to be told. Sanosuke must think so too because he isn't being a dick and trying to shake the kid off. And Miaso who sits one branch below him is humming a tune he doesn't recognize, all happy and bouncy and so definitely her. They had a similar calming effect on him to last time and maybe that's why he doesn't mind tomorrow night all that much. With people to return to rather than his empty apartment, he doesn't feel so insane.

There's a comfortable sort of quiet surrounding him right now, the wind rustling the branches softly and cooling down the air. Sano's eyes find him and he yells up at him to get down, but Kenshin just smiles and shakes his head. His roommate scowls and Miaso laughs. Knowing his life, this peace won't last but he can enjoy it for now.

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Hope you enjoyed. :)


	5. Chapter 5

Yay, the plot is starting! Happiness time.

Disclaimer: only own what you don't recognize.

.

So, he hasn't missed killing. But he's definitely the feeling of the hilt in his hands.

"Don't worry, Mr. Acker," he says to the terrified sponsor huddling in the corner, trying to make it seem like everything will be all right because it's bad enough he can't breathe right without a panic attack, "this will only take a minute."

Before Jin'eh, as Kenshin found out his name is, can attack, he's gone, on the other side of the room. There's an adrenaline rush somewhere in his head, his amber eyes registering his opponent's movements before they happen, understanding everything with more clarity than he ever will normal life. Jin'eh attacks; he blocks. This fight should've been over thirty seconds ago, but that's not going to happen. Not today.

The man is speaking to him German, which he only half understands, but he knows it has something to do with him going too soft. It's true, but really, he can't help it. It's been two months since he fought and he feels relieved like a smoker having taken his first drag since trying to quit. And he doesn't care how screwed up that sounds because here he is, clashing swords again, and he doesn't have time to think. Until he does, and that's when everything goes to hell.

It's going fine at first, exactly as planned, him dragging out this fight but still clearly having the upper hand. Acker is literally frozen from fear on the other side of the room, but he's overall unharmed. Jin'eh stabs, Kenshin block and slashes. There's a wound across the man's chest and though he's bleeding profusely, it's not enough to kill. Then he leaps and Acker lets out a choking sound.

This is what gets him. He knows asphyxiation when he hears it and it's enough to distract him. His opponent sees his opening and swipes upwards. The attack connects and Kenshin finds himself on the floor, smacking his head and either breaking or fracturing a couple of ribs. He hasn't been this accidently beaten up since that day in the Aokigahara in Japan.

As he pulls himself to his feet, barely evading the stomp of a foot and the stab of a blade, Jin'eh tells him, "_Ihre wertvollen Politiker hat fünf Minuten zu leben._" German might not be Kenshin's strong point, but he's pretty sure he got the general gist.

Acker has five minutes to live.

"I should've killed you immediately."

He sheaths his sword and turns, facing the man straight on, not for the first time thinking, _thank god kenjutsu isn't as much of a dying art as everyone thinks it is._ It's a basic move, one of the first he ever learned, but with his side bleeding like this, a possible concussion, and damaged ribcage, he doesn't trust himself to do anything more complicated. Most of the people in the network think that he's invincible, but that isn't true. In the end, all Kenshin will ever be is human and this hurts like a bitch.

What comes next is exactly as he predicts because nine out of ten times he's right even if the person is creative enough not to fight with a gun. But his katana is already out, his small stature allowing him to get under the attack and there it goes, connecting. In this moment, with his eyes a darker amber than they have been in a long time, he comes to his senses.

Jin'eh lies dead at his feet, cut clean in half.

"Christ, kid," says a voice from behind him and he jumps in surprise. In his own half-aware state, he hadn't heard Acker get up or the initial gasp that meant he was breathing. A tentative hand is put on his shoulder. Most people don't like touching him and if he hadn't gotten used to it over the past month, he might've attacked out of instinct. "Are you all right?"

Kenshin turns and has to look up to see the man's face. If Acker finds the change in eye color strange, he doesn't say it. He tries to take a step forward and stumbles, breathing horrifically uneven. "I'll be fine," he says since it's currently obvious that he isn't. "What about you? Are your lungs work okay?"

The politician nods shakily and before he can stop himself, he doubles over, coughing up blood. There's a hand in his messy hair, pulling away from his face. That hit's really got him screwed up. When he's finished, he says, "I've got to clean it up."

"Leave it to me." Acker is nervous and is, like most people, untrained in his ability to hide it. "Is it my fault you got hit? What was that?"

He ignores the first question, but gets to the second. "Killing intent," he answers. "A lot of people can't do it now, but it used to be used all the time. Apparently his was strong enough to paralyze the lungs. I need to get out of here."

"You'll bleed out." Jesus, just his luck; right when he starts getting people who care about him in his life he starts running into politicians who aren't incompetent dicks. What's the world coming to? "Your cleaning crew should already be on their way and I doubt you want to be seen like this." The guy has a point and he nods, dazed. "Right. C'mon, let's get you to the bathroom. You can clean off and patch yourself up there."

Though he hasn't been told, he knows Acker is a father of a teenage son. Younger than Kenshin probably, roughly sixteen or so, and it must be killing him to see another kid who appears to be his son's age defending him with murder. The bathroom isn't far away and he's pushing inside alone after being directed to where the medical supplies are. Then the man leaves him alone, heading back upstairs to meet with the cleanup crew (bifurcation was a good choice, because there's no doubt of Jin'eh being dead). They need to believe he's gone by now, so he'll write a message on the mirror with soap as thank you and disappear out of Acker's life forever.

And hopefully he isn't being stupid, revealing himself to a sponsor like that. Sure, they won't tell a soul, but there's always that risk.

The shower is hot, the water pressure stronger than at school and after he's forced to dry himself off with washcloths that'll be burned and disposed of in Boston before he stitches himself up. He bites down on his hand, freaked out by it but knowing he's likely to scream otherwise. Then he bandages it, wound and damaged ribs still throbbing, and is on the verge of tears by the end of it. Getting injured to this severity isn't something he's used to.

And, in the back of his mind, he ignores the truth that he doesn't mind at all.

.

After a night of wondering New York aimless and in pain and the worst train ride in the world, he ends up at Katsura's house. He worse off than he thought he'd be and doesn't want to show it.

All it takes is a minute with Katsura and Ikumatsu and an exchanged look between the two before he's forced into a chair, shirt off.

Ikumatsu says, "Your ribs are just cracked, but that cut's deep," and brushes some hair from his face. She's a real life nurse, so he trusts her judgment on matters like thing. "Have you coughed or regurgitated blood?" He nods and again, the couple exchange a look and then there's a flashlight in his face, looking at his eyes and god does that hurt. When she clicks it off, she continues, "Right. No concussion, just a bump. If you can risk another two hours, try to get some sleep."

"But—" Katsura silences him with a look and Ikumatsu doing the whole hands on her hips thing isn't helping. "Okay."

"We can brainstorm an excuse in the car."

Kenshin nods and, exhausted, is lead to the spare bedroom. His katana is still in the kitchen where Ikumatsu is cleaning it off and they were the first two people in the network he felt comfortable falling asleep in front of.

He's out before his head even hits the pillow.

.

In the end they go for the excuse of a simple mugging and since Megumi never sees him without his shirt on, everyone quickly accepts it for fact.

"I'm not hungry," he says, which is bad but he doesn't care. He stills feels crazy, trapped in his own head, and he knows it's probably good for him to be with people, but all he wants is to be alone. Besides, he keeps having to avoid eye contact because he doesn't need to see his reflection to know that the color must be going nuts anymore. "I'll go to dinner."

The four of them look at him with a worry that makes him uncomfortable. His hand twitches. He just killed a man, dragged it out and enjoyed it, got slashed across his side and had his brain release way too many endorphins to be normal. People like him don't deserve friends and he knows it. And this is what's fucking in the head right now, this knowledge that he's selfish for keeping them as he was for keeping Tomoe and he's so damn terrified that history will repeat itself.

Sano picks him up against his will, placing him on the bed so that he doesn't need to go through the strain of actually climbing up. It's embarrassing, but he's too drugged up on the Vicodin Ikumatsu gave him that he can't find it in him to care. His roommate says, "We'll bring something back for you."

"You don't have to." _I don't deserve you. _

The girls are all looking at him sympathetically but Sano's eyes are narrowed with suspicious that he barely notices in his whacked out state of mind. He knew he was going to be messed up in the head when he got back, but this is worse than he expected. Maybe it's the wound or the fact that this is more than one person and unlike Tomoe, they have no idea, but he feels so dirty and worthless and—

Fuck it, he _promised _Tomoe and Katsura and Hiko and he absolutely can't let that pass through his head anymore. There are people who listens to because he might not deserve them either (except for maybe Katsura) but he owes than enough to follow his word. Kaoru reaches over tentatively, touches his forehead as if looking for a fever and for a moment he doesn't see her at all.

"I'll stay with you," she says and really, he doesn't deserve someone this innocent and she doesn't deserve the way he's looking at her right now, his mind making her image waver between herself and the girl he hasn't stopped loving, even two years later. It isn't fair to her because he's not ignorant like most guys and knows that she doesn't see him as just a friend. Unless they all start to hate him, the explanation he'll have to give to her will break her heart. "Is that okay?"

He nods absentmindedly, but it's to Tomoe and not Kaoru and God does his mind suck. Hopefully the medication will knock him back into the peacefulness of before.

After all, repression has always been his greatest gift.

Megumi says, "We'll get you something light," as they leave and he's left alone with Kaoru, the girl who doesn't realize that she isn't really in love with because whether or not she knows who he really is, there's no way that's possible. And he blatantly ignores the fact that he's pulled off the whole love at first sight thing three years before.

He flops down on his uninjured side, trusting her enough not to stab him in his sleep and drifting back and forth in consciousness. She's humming what sounds like a lullaby, repeatedly running her fingers through his hair, and he really should've sucked it up and just gone to philosophy. Even though missing a day isn't too serious of an offense, he still feels bad. Unfortunately Vicodin isn't exactly contusive to staying awake in class.

Eventually he does drift off and thank god for painkillers because his nightmares are kept at bay. His breathing is still uneven and ragged and this is the first time in a long while that everything hurts. Katsura's thinly veiled panic is still weighing heavily on his mind and really, he doesn't understand why people _care_. He's a straight up murderer, no way around it, and though he honest to god thinks that the Jin'eh deserved it, he isn't much better. Just a little more humane when he isn't dragging out the fight, is all.

What scares him the most, though, is how much of a relief it is.

Eventually he's able to doze off, the side effects of the painkiller outweighing the injury and the hand in his hair isn't helping. It's been a while that he's been banged up enough for Tomoe to do this for him, no teasing involved because, yeah, even he has to admit that this is worse than usual. And not on—

Oh, yeah. That's why she's being this sweet and he hasn't been slapped on the face yet. He should apologize again for being such an idiot. After he wakes up fully. Right now he's just so tired…It's like his body's shut itself down, mind closed off inside of himself. He hates pills and always has but he knows he'd be in too much pain to even function without it, so Katsura made good a call.

He normally does.

Suddenly he's jolted awake as he takes too deep a breath, causing a sharp pain in his side, causing him to instinctively curl up. There's a gasp above him, the hand stalling in his hair. Before she can start worrying, he gets out, "I'm fine, Tomoe."

"_What?_"

His eyes fly open as he abruptly comes to his sense, realizing that Tomoe's been dead _for two years _and he's lying on a dorm room bed after getting injured during a kill and the hand in his hair is too big to be hers anyway. That this is Kaoru Kamiya, a girl whose heart he might've just broken. So he does the only thing he can think of, scrambling into sitting position to look at her, ignoring the protesting wound on his side.

"I—I'm so sorry, I'm a little delirious right now," he says, eyes wide and he hopes that they're purple right now because having to explain that they change color will be weird, suspicious, and take way too long. "I didn't—Tomoe's a, uh, a—"

"Your girlfriend?" Kaoru looks damn hurt and Jesus, she really doesn't deserve this right now. Or any of them. He's a horrible person and he knows it and he should stop being so selfish.

Though his mouth suddenly feels dry, he answers, "Not anymore."

"What happened?"

He doesn't want to answer this but he just fucked up bad and admits it.

"She died."

Thankfully Kaoru doesn't ask how because that's something he can't tell. This is the first time he's said her name aloud in years and it feels like someone's stabbed him all over again. He's too mentally shattered right now to deal with this and why did it have to be Kaoru who found this out? She looks hurt but like she's trying not to and he's straight up told Sano already that he has PTSD so his roommate would've just accepted it. Girls aren't that easy.

"I'm sorry."

He doesn't want to talk about this anymore and knows that Kaoru will probably tell the others because he hasn't asked her not to yet and apparently that's what friends do, but the other three enter the room and he's saved. Sano freezes the moment he sees him and Kenshin knows he must look shaken because even he, who is so incredibly good at covering up everything that's going on inside his head, is suffering from the side effects of being crazy. Having Kaoru find out about his insanity (whether or not she realizes that's what it is) like this isn't making it any better.

His roommate says, "We got you guys food at The Fast Lane. Think you can stomach rice and peas, Kenshin?"

People are too considerate towards him and what would happen if they ever found out? Maybe this whole college thing isn't the good idea he thought he was even two days ago. All he wants to do is be by himself but he's too twitchy to stop himself from doing anything stupid. And the worst is that he doesn't even _like _doing anything stupid, that it hurts and he hates pain and there's nothing good about it which is why he never does anything serious, but still. It's a habit that's been on and off for the past four years. One that he's been good about for the past few weeks but fuck if last night didn't totally screw him up.

"Maybe later," he answers, feeling sick. That was bad. That was really, really bad. "The Vicodin causes appetite loss."

As Megumi goes to hand Kaoru her food, she hops off his bed. For as bad as he is right now at hiding the fact that something's a little off, she's a thousand times worse. "I have to do homework, so I'll be back later," she says, accepting it and avoiding looking at him, inching towards the door. He hasn't felt like this much of a bastard in a long time. "Bye, guys."

"Wait—Kaoru!" Miaso shouts, running after her and nearly tripping over herself because she's a klutz.

Megumi looks at him warily and Sanosuke just seems uncomfortable with this whole thing. "What did you do to her?" she asks and really, Kenshin sucks at living.

"Called her the name of someone else," he answers miserably. "I'm sure she'll explain it because I can't think straight right now."

"I'm coming back," she says, eyes narrowed with suspicion, "in about an hour, got it? So you better be awake."

After she leaves the room, an awkward silence falls. He flops back on his bed, ignoring the fact this his body now officially hates him. Finally, Sanosuke asks, "What happened?"

Somehow, Sano's become one of the few people in his life that he actually trusts for no definable reason so it's no surprise that he feels safe in answering. "For about a year," he answers, "when I still lived in Kyoto, I was dating this girl." Until now he's avoiding directly saying he's from Japan because it's too obvious. "She was older than me, going off to college and I was already living by myself so she moved in with me. We were young, but it was pretty serious. But then she died and I went to England. From England I came here. I'm not exactly…Well, Kaoru doesn't really look like her, but she was doing what Tomoe used to do when I got a migraine and I guess the Vicodin is counteracting the Buspar because I don't know, I just wasn't here for a moment."

Again comes the silence. Then, "That's harsh. Did you tell her this?"

"Sort of."

"I don't think she'll be mad, if that's what you're worried about. If you don't mind me asking, how old were you?"

He really shouldn't be answer this. "Sixteen," he says anyway. "She was older than me, like I said. If she were still alive, she'd be twenty right now."

"Well, fuck."

"You have no idea."

It's the first time he's ever said something like but it's true. He's surrounded by people who don't get what being inside his head is like, how it feels to murder someone and hate it, how it feels to purposely get himself hurt or do it himself and hate that too, how it feels living with the knowledge that he never even got a chance to hear Tomoe say her last words to him. She once told him that the only way to be friends was to swap damages because it establishes trust and he never does it to anyone. No one but her.

Because Tomoe has always been his exception.

Sano sighs. "Go back to sleep, Kenshin," he says. "I won't say anything."

"But Megumi—"

"Kenshin."

That's enough to get him to shut up and listen. Katsura does it to him too. Besides, he's already only half conscious and he doesn't want to take another Vicodin. So, for the second time in two days, he goes to sleep like a normal person.

Dreamlessness is bliss.

.

Reviews are nice. :3


	6. Chapter 6

I think just because of how quickly I'm writing this, I feel like the plot's moving to fast. Then I realize I'm already on chapter fix and I'm forced to wonder what the hell is wrong with me.

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

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Kaoru thankfully forgives him after a couple of days, which gives Kenshin enough time to get his mind back on track. Whether or not he likes his area of expertise, he understands for the first time that to stay sane, he needs at least a semblance of a positive relationship in his life and he might not deserve this experience or these people, but they're trying so hard to be his friends that he feels like for once, he can actually bend and allow some selfishness. In the end they'll find out one way or another and all hate him, but for now he's choosing to ignore the truth that it's only a matter of time before it happens.

After all, he's been through this once before.

"How're you feeling?" Megumi asks as he when he meets the four of them in the Common Room for the second floor's impromptu movie night. Originally they weren't going to go even though Tyler insisted it was mandatory, but then he made the silly mistake of telling Kaoru that he'd never seen _Jurassic Park_ and apparently that's something of a sin.

He says, "Better," even though it's a complete lie. He took himself off the Vicodin this morning because he doesn't like not being able to think straight and now it hurts to _breathe._ Broken ribs have always been hell for him, because he'd somehow managed to never get much worse than a contusion of any other bone. Maybe the rest of his body was just trying to make it up to him by breaking his ribs eight times. "So am I the last one here?"

"Mark's skipping out," Sano answers. Mark's their only suitemate now that Jarrett moved out, which Kenshin is okay with. His passive aggressive messages posted on sticky notes all throughout the common area and bathroom were irritating even to him. "The dick's doing that foreign thing called homework."

"He needs to get his priorities straight," says Miaso and Kaoru snickers.

The television turns on, the second of white noise making him cringe before the music of the DVD play screen comes on. Rachel, a girl from Georgia in the suite across from Kenshin and Sano, turns off the lights. When he was a kid—a little kid, that is—Hiko would bring him to the drive-in over the summer if he was caught up on everything and they'd sit on the hill with a radio propped up next to them and his godfather would do something for work, not even half paying attention. At ten they ended and now he can count on his hands the number of movies he's seen since then.

So, yeah, this is actually a lot cooler than he wants to admit.

He's stuck between Kaoru and Sanosuke, taking a Kit-Kat out of the bag that's being passed around even though he doesn't traditionally eat candy. Though Kaoru's pressed up almost uncomfortably close against him, it's on his uninjured side and his roommate making sure to keep a safe distance from his cracked ribcage. Miaso sits at his feet and Megumi at Sanso's and someone across the room giggles. Everyone else on the floor is scattered off with their separate friends (not all of which are from Hollingsworth), but nothing feels selective, or maybe that's just because even after a month Kenshin still isn't entirely sure what's going on.

Tyler hits play.

.

"You went for a _run_?"

It's a Thursday night and Sano's half-tipsy, staring at Kenshin in disbelief. He's a fucking idiot and knows it and nods and ouch on about a thousand levels of horrible. How could he have been so stupid to let himself get hit? He barely made it back in the room and he's curled up in fetal position like a girl, in so much pain it's ridiculous. He tries to answer and it comes out as a squeak.

Sano's saying, "Holy shit, man, should I call Megumi or something? Because you look like you're about to pass out and I'm too fucked with alcohol to take care of you."

Getting Megumi will mean taking off his shirt and it's bad enough that his friends have all seen him without his bandage. "Fuck no," he says, not caring if he comes off as rude. His voice is strained and the only reason he can pull this off is because he's been through this before. A lot of times before. "Just give me a minute."

There are no hands reaching for him, which is a good thing because he's about half a second away from slipping out of reality. By now, medicated or not, he knows the warning signs and he's such a fucking _idiot _for putting himself and his friends at risk like this. Not that he'll attack them, but he's dumb enough to do something to himself. Or worse yet, talk.

"What the fuck gave you the idea that this was smart?" Sano says. "I mean, seriously, you look like you're dying or something."

He answers, "Wasn't thinking. Didn't feel anything until I stop—ugh, God, I hate myself so much."

_Please don't look too close_, he thinks, _for the love of God, eyes stay blue!_

He hasn't had to think this in accordance to not wanting to simply freak someone out. The only other person before this was a Tomoe, but that was for a different reason entirely. It's not that his personality changes or anything like what his coworkers thing; rather, it's a reaction to high stress and he's probably the only person in the world that the lipochrome levels actually somehow change. Unfortunately this has also become an association with Battousai and he's _not _letting anyone from college to see this any time soon.

"Do you want me to help you get into bed or something?" his roommate asks and he shakes his head. He's better than this, stronger than this and if he can get through the Białowieża Forest stabbed through the lung after an excursion with a group simply called "The Wolves," then he get himself onto a dorm room bed.

After a moment, he forces himself to stand and pull himself up the three foot latter, trying to ignore Sano's worried looks. Next thing he knows there's the sound of rustling drawers and pajama pants thrown in his face. "I'm not even letting you attempt to put on a shirt," he says, which Kenshin is okay with. He's too messed up in the head right now to actually give a shit about anything that isn't suspicious and he's wearing boxers anyway, so he changes right there. Sano's turned around, which he appreciates because he's pretty sure his eyes are amber.

"You can go back out if you want," Kenshin tells him, noticing the red Solo Cup filled with cheap rum and Coke and he's hated people taking care of him ever since he was a kid. Hiko didn't do it, no one in the network does it, and his parents went out of their way to do the complete opposite. To a point he's a pretty flexible person, but for stuff like this he hates change. It makes him uncomfortable beyond belief. "I'm okay on my own. I deserve it for being stupid anyway."

His voice still sounds strained.

Sano picks up the red cup, downing the last splash and throwing it out. Kenshin, for all his shitty luck, someone managed to get an awesome roommate. Again, he thinks that Katsura has a horrible tendency to be right about everything. "Nah, it's cool," his friend says. "I have to do some stupid math thing anyway. Go to sleep."

"I'm not tired," he says, which is true. "My side just hurts. Be difference. Want help with the math?"

One thing he learned pretty quickly was that Sano really isn't good in the whole mathematics department, which sucks considering how many science classes he needs to take as a physical training major or whatever it's called. And even though Kenshin is a writing major, he's still not bad in any particular subject.

So his roommate shrugs and gives him the okay and he awkwardly situates himself onto the bed so Kenshin can help explain to him the finer points of calculus. Sometime around two in the morning, he falls asleep midway through tutoring. Sano goes back to his bed.

Tonight, he's not getting left alone.

.

One of the things about Kenshin is that he's perceptive as hell, which means he notices two major problems in one day. In order, they are:

1) There's someone watching him in the Starbucks Kaoru drags him to;

2) And Sano and Megumi are piecing together that something's a little off about him

It's a Tuesday at the end of September and his ten AM Psych class is cancelled for reasons undisclosed by his professor and Kaoru finally convinces him to go with her to Starbucks. For a month at one point he was stuck in a small New Jersey suburb half an hour from the Shore and lived off this stuff, so he isn't exactly opposed. Until, that is, he gets the sudden, undeniable feeling that he's being watched.

Kaoru blinks at him, probably noticing the sudden change in his stance, possibly the twitch of his hand, and he refrains from looking for the source. After Jin'eh and the state that fight left him, he's not willing to go through with this again. And to make matters worse, he's weaponless here on grounds of stupidity and school rules so defending himself won't be so easy. Also, insane or not, he knows he isn't imagining this.

"What's wrong?" she asks, confused, because unlike everyone else in his life, she and the rest of his friends are clueless about the discretion he needs when he gets like this. When he gets threatened.

He says, "It's nothing," and trying to pinpoint the source of while suppressing his own. There's a small possibility that this is a coincidence, but he doubts it. He needs to get out of here now, needs to figure out how to get to Boston or to make up some bullshit to get Katsura to come here because this isn't something he can put into the half-assed code they've created.

Even though it's evident that she doesn't believe him, Kaoru drops the subject and follows him through the normal motions of ordering, paying and receiving the coffee. He even waits for her and puts sugar and creamer even though he's perfectly okay with drinking it black. This small window of extra time allows him to get the location.

The person is sitting by the door.

"Ready to go, Kenshin?" Kaoru asks and he almost cringes at the sound of his name. Accident or not, the person's inevitably figured out who he is and for some reason isn't calling him out on it, but odds are that his name, as of yet, is unknown. If there's one thing Katsura is damn good at, it's keeping a secret.

"Yeah," he says, trying to keep his calm and not letting his heart rate get jacked. If the person hasn't recognized him yet with the bandage and the blue eyes, he'd definitely get recognized with his eyes going yellow. Because of the Traitor, the amber eyes are something of his signature.

They leave and he catches a glimpse of sleek black hair, a lean body, and laugh lines around the mouth and if that's who he thinks it is, he's both safe and screwed at the same time. Despite being enemies, he and Saito Hajime have a half-peace treaty that doesn't really extend past an honor code that doesn't really exist for either of them. So if it is him (which is it), odds are this won't be told to anyone.

Besides, Saito's the first person who ever told him that he needs help and he's pretty sure this counts as "help." He won't tell, or at least that's what he hopes.

Once they're a relatively safe distance from the Starbucks, Kaoru asks again, "What's wrong?"

"It's nothing," he repeats. "I just remembered that we have that essay for Why We Create that I haven't even started."

This gets Kaoru to forget. "Oh my god," she says. "I completely forgot. Kenshin, we have _four hours _to finish it."

"Better go back then," he says, relieved because in actuality he's been finished for two days. "I'll use my Sano free time."

She laughs, voice light and carefree and she's every bit the type of girl that he should love.

.

"_I thought something like this was going to happen_," Katsura tells him half an hour later as Kenshin paces the short length of his room, almost worked into a panic again now. "_I just can't believe the doctors contacted you first._"

He runs his fingers through his hair and catches sight of himself in the mirror. For the first time since he's gotten here, his eyes are bright amber, which means he's screwed if Sano's class is let out early. He wishes that he could just explain the whole situation to Katsura right now, but that counts as breaking the limitations and responsibilities that come along with the necessary cell phones.

"Yeah," he says, "I don't get it either. Listen, they also sent me papers about two days ago but I didn't check until today. Do you want to come here to get them, or have me go to you? You know, or mail them. That works too."

They need a more organized code. When they meet up, Kenshin's going to make sure this happens.

Katsura tells him, "_Work'll get in the way of me being able to get to you. I'm sorry, but you need to come here. I'll play for train fare._"

"Don't worry about it," he answers. "That'll take too long. I'll walk to CampCo today and get them myself. The library printers are too unreliable for me to trust getting them over the computer."

This is getting so out of control that it's ridiculous. He doesn't want to deal with this. Ever. And here he is in an American university as a real, credible student who's not doing this on an assignment or anything. He doesn't believe in fate, but if it does exist, he's pretty sure it must have a vendetta against him because no one's luck should be this bad.

"_I have to go to work_," his boss says. "_I'll see you Friday?_"

"Friday works."

"_Excellent. See you then, Kenshin._"

He hangs up and the silence is suffocating.

.

Kenshin sits in Katsura's living room couch, elbows on his knees and hands pressed to his mouth, thinking. The train ride gave him a splitting headache that he's been trying to ignore and it's like he's finally letting himself feel the stress because his eyes are going crazy right now. Good thing Ikumatsu isn't home because though her husband is used it, she isn't and like most people doesn't understand the concept that this isn't an alternate personality or anything. Kenshin might be off in the head but not even he's that bad.

With a sigh, Katsura crosses his arms and says, "I don't know how he found you, but Saito's only a threat if he's with his group."

"Probably," he answers. "But I'm not sure. Last time he kept me from getting killed is because he realized I was fifteen, said he doesn't like hurting kids. Or people who are trying to die. I'm not exactly a kid anymore and I'm pretty okay with living at the moment."

"He hasn't attacked you all week," Katsura says, though Kenshin has a feeling that he's trying to keep him from going completely out of it at the moment. Yellow eyes don't mean a split personality, but they don't mean anything good either. "I'm sure he had opportunities. From the sound of it, you're alone a lot, is that right?" He nods. "Okay. You keep an eye out for him, make sure he doesn't kill you. I'll doing the background work, try to see if there's any connection to the Jin'eh incident and if so, why."

There's a moment of hesitation and Kenshin automatically jumps of it. "What?" he asks.

"Well," his boss says, obviously uncomfortable, "there're no safety measures getting on or off the train and you're so good at hiding that it's ridiculous. If we can figure out how to smuggle your katana with you, can you guarantee that you won't hurt yourself? And if you relapse you'll let me know immediately?"

Right now he doesn't plan on doing anything but he has his moments. He says, "I can guarantee at least the second one, probably the first. I haven't done anything serious since I was in the hospital and I did something minor after I killed Jin'eh, but you were expecting that, weren't you?"

Again, the hesitation. Then, "I suppose you're right. My main concern above everything is keeping you safe right now and that includes from yourself, but Saito is more of a threat. I'm going out on a limb here to trust you, Kenshin. Do me a favor and don't screw up."

He agrees, and five hours later he's on the train again, katana nestled in the large-ish suitcase Katsura gave him so that he had "something to pack his stuff in for winter break." And it honestly scares him how utterly relieved he is.

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Reviews are appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

So, I've had no internet the past few days. I also just went through a really, really hard time a few minutes ago, so my next few chapters are going to be kind of fucked. Just so you know.

Disclaimer: only own what you don't recognize.

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"Mr. Himura!"

At the sound of his name, Kenshin turns around. He's been doing a pretty good job of not leaving campus and never being alone, but right now he's by himself in a hallway of the Science Center, walking back from philosophy. The woman is obviously a teacher, but he doesn't recognize her and there's something about her puts him on edge.

Keeping his face neutral just in case, he says, "Yes?"

She smiles and she dresses better than most of the people in academia that he's seen so far, something he's only noticed because all of the girls have pointed it out at one point or another. "Well, I have class in fifteen minutes," she says, "but if you don't, my husband wants to speak to you. He's in my office."

Her husband? "Who is this?" he asks, unnerved and suspecting the worse.

"Oh, you know," she says, smiling at him again. "He wants to let you know before you come in that this is one huge coincidence." Right, well his luck certainly hasn't improved. He's good at figuring people out and he knows this woman isn't lying. She adds, "I'm Tokio Saito, by the way. I teach Russia and if you want a reference to get you into a higher level course, you can just ask and I'll leave a spot open. I heard you speak it very well."

Seriously, his life makes no sense. He's decided this years ago and ever since he first saw Saito in Starbucks, he's been thinking it more and more. He tries to think of a way out of this, but curiosity is starting to get the better of him and the odds of getting attacked in a college faculty office seem slim. So he asks, "What's your room number?"

"Two o' eight in Monroe. Downstairs." Her eyes flick towards the clock on the wall behind him. "I have to go or I'll be late, but it's nice to meet you, Himura."

"Uh, you too," he says, shaking her hand. Saying "Mrs. Saito" sounds too weird, so he keeps his mouth shut. Again, the woman smiles brightly as if having a conversation with one of her husband's greatest adversaries is a perfectly normal way to spend a Friday afternoon.

He waits until she's around the corner before he starts heading out himself, inwardly fighting about whether or not this is a good idea even as he walks in the direction of Monroe. Normally he'd call Katsura first to let him know what's going on, but his boss is currently in Quebec doing something or another that Kenshin doesn't really care about because it has to do with his cover-up job and he can't be reached for a while. Besides, he doesn't want to get pulled out of here due to any "high risk situations" and he isn't number one without reason.

Basically, Kenshin can take care of himself.

The door to 208 is shut, but opens without him having to knock. Saito's on the computer, checking his email.

Kenshin says, "I didn't know you were married."

"I wasn't last time we met," Saito answers, minimizing the window and turning around. "Take a seat. I'm surprised you came."

Though he feels cautious, he drops his backpack and sits on the chair across from the older man. "I figured that if you wanted to kill me, you would've tried by now."

One thing that Kenshin really hates is smirking. "Why should I?" he says. "I wasn't sent to kill you, and I checked your file. Forged, obviously, but you seem like an actual student here. Why a Writing major, Battousai—or, sorry, Kenshin?"

Oh, great, so he did hear that. "Professor Dunn's convincing," he says awkwardly. "Um, so what does your…wife mean about this being a coincidence?"

Saito's eyes harden into a glare and he says, "She means that we've been living here for the past two years, which means _you _coming in wasn't part of the plan. And I know you, kid—moment you saw me, you got scared I was here for you."

For a moment, all Kenshin can do is stare at him in shock. Then, "This actually waitlisted into August and I didn't get the chance to apply to July. I had no idea."

"I could rat you out, Himura," he tells him and Kenshin is perfectly aware of this right now, "or you can leave. Give me one good reason not to do either of those."

Getting ratted out is a rational thing to panic about, but he knows that he's way less okay with the idea of leaving than he should be. "Um," he says, scrambling for a reason and not wanting to do this but wanting to stay, "I—"

"Shut up," Saito says, and he does because at the moment, what else can he do? The man's not armed either, there's no malicious intent focused in his direction or anywhere else and really, the worst they'd ever done was _try _to kill each other, which is a lot more than Kenshin can say about anybody else. Most just fail. "Let me guess, you've been discharged because you tried to commit suicide."

Again, he's taken by surprise. "_What_?" he says, but the man's eyes are trained on him, face impassive. "Where'd you—? No, I'm not that bad, but yeah, I'm temporarily not a threat unless provoked. Can I stay here now?"

Rather than answer, Saito turns around, goes back to the computer, and hits the maximize button on the browser. Then he says, "Come over here, kid. You should see this."

Even more wary than before now, Kenshin stands and goes over, leaning against the desk so he can get a good view of the screen.

**Senator Jim Lawrence Found Dead—Next Battousai Killing? **the caption reads and for an instant he feels so undeniably pissed off that he can see his eyes go bright, bright amber in the reflection of the computer screen. It's dated only an hour prior. No, he thinks, no way is this happening.

Saito jars him out of it with, "Hm. So those weren't contacts."

Kenshin blinks, trying to clear his head because for a moment there he felt like he was about to go off kilter again. "Oh my god," he says, ignoring the comment because by this point he's used to it. "That—that's not me. I haven't killed anyone since the day after my birthday."

"You were born June thirtieth?" Oh, whoops. He's slipping up on way too much information right now, but he still doesn't feel like he's in the right mind, starting to panic as he reassures himself that blackouts are the one thing that he doesn't suffer from. Tensely, he nods. "Interesting. Tokio's is the twenty-fourth. So, this only happened within the last twelve hours. Any ideas?"

He looks from the screen to Saito, confused. "Did you just ask me to work with you?" The man shrugs. Really, his life makes no sense. "Um, not yet. But this isn't orchestrated through us, so I'd have to find out through the news. I'm taking it that this isn't the Wolves either?"

There comes a twitch of a hand and Saito probably isn't used to hearing the name spoken here. Vaguely Kenshin wonders why he's in a small American college town of all places, but decides he'll ask later. Later as in after he talks to Katsura, whose meeting he is definitely interrupting. Code or not, he needs this through as soon as possible.

"No," the man says, focus going back to Kenshin, whose eyes are blue again, his safety color, "and I didn't think it was you either. I was looking over the crime photos and the skill is nothing like yours. Besides, I already knew you were here the odds of you being able to get down to Florida and back in under twelve hours aren't particularly high."

Orlando, Florida is where the Senator is from. He's remembered by a wife and two young sons. He isn't a sponsor and Kenshin knows nothing about him but he hates killing despite doing it and the fact that he's getting framed is more than just a little bit irritating. "Why do you want to go after this guy?" he asks, suspicious. "And why do you want _my _help?"

"The less opposition the better," he answers, "and he's inevitably your enemy too. 'The enemy of my enemy is my friend,' right? And presumably you want the bastard dead same as I do, and it's a little easier for a college student to slip out for a weekend than a police officer."

"A _police officer?_"

There it goes, that smirk again. "You're a college student, Battousai. Why can't I go through a career change too?" Against his better judgment, he glares, though the effect is lost somewhat because he's gotten amazingly good at keeping his eyes a normal color lately. "I'm assuming you'll tell whatever contact you have that you've spoken to me."

Since he doesn't want to answer one way or the other, he just shrugs. "I'm not a regular contact anymore," he lies and his control is good enough that it's undetectable even to someone as smart as Saito. "I'll probably be getting a call about this by tonight, though. What will you be doing?"

The surrealism of this conversation is ridiculous, and the irony isn't lost on him. Saito says, "Gathering information. I have network access in a way you won't be able to through the school's internet connection. If Kenshin Himura your real name?"

"Hm?" he says, eyes back on the article now. "Oh, yeah. Don't expect to find anything interesting on me, though. My childhood was uneventful. If I agree to do this, how will you contact me?"

"Do you have any idea what you'll be doing with that Writing major of yours?" Saito asks, which is random, but again Kenshin shrugs. "Minor in Russian then like an ESL teacher, it's not too much work. Tokio can be your advisor. I don't like the idea of bringing technology into this."

Unlike where he works, the Wolves aren't as careful (hence how often they're caught), so hearing this is something of a relief. Of course, telling this all to Katsura later will be far from fun, but this means that he can catch whoever's doing this since he can tell that Saito wasn't lying and know definitely that his identity won't be leaked out any time soon.

"Works for me," he says and means it. Odds are he won't do anything involving this major at all, so it doesn't matter what he does. "Is that why your wife told me the thing about her class?"

"No, that's just because no one cares about Russia in this school."

Yeah, he's noticed that there's a strange obsession with France here, but that's getting too far off topic and he doesn't have long before his designated meeting time with Megumi. "Okay," he says. "I'll do that tomorrow. I have to help my friend with her essay, though, and she gets out of class in fifteen minutes—don't make a comment about me having friends, I don't get it either. Anything else?"

"If I think of something, Tokio will tell you tomorrow," Saito answers. "And don't let this go to your head, Battousai. If we ever clash again as enemies, I won't hesitate to kill you."

Something about this seems like an empty threat so he ignores it as he turns around, heading out the door. Right before he exits, he adds, "Cut it out with the Battousai thing. Just call me Kenshin or Himura or kid or something, it's easier here."

"Fine," the man says, "then no wolf taunts for your end, either. See you later, kid."

He leaves without returning the goodbye.

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With five minutes to spare before he can meet up with Megumi in an reasonable amount of time, he calls Katsura. As expected, his boss isn't too happy to hear from him.

"This better be important, Kenshin," Katsura says. "I just had to put the meeting on halt because of this."

"Are you in front of a computer right now?" he asks, ignoring him because he needs to do this fast for both their sakes. "You need to access the AOL site right now."

"Why?" Despite the question, Kenshin can already hear the sound of fingers against a keyboard. "What's so—what the hell?"

"Saito showed me," he says, "because apparently he's been here for two years working as a police officer and his wife is a professor and don't ask me, I have no idea. Basically he wants to eliminate this impostor because it's hard enough having one competition and he used that 'the enemy of my enemy is my friend' bullshit. And he basically threatened to rat me out otherwise."

For a moment, silence. Then, "You have the worst luck of anyone I've ever met in my life, kid. But okay, as long as you think he's okay I'll trust you. Again." They both know this conversation shouldn't be so direct, but it's too much of an emergency to think up how to say it all in code. "Am I making the right call here?"

"I'll update you on everything," he says, pushing some hair out of his face. "I can't—I mean, fucking hell, I just want to survive my freshman year. Visiting Boston every once in a while for Aunt Ikumatsu's surgeries are okay, but this is…well, it's over complicating everything. He says he can look stuff up because I can barely do anything with the school internet's stupidity but I'm the one who actually has to go execute this independent study. It's easier for a student leave than someone with an actual job, apparently."

From the other end of the phone Kenshin catches the sound of people speaking angrily in French. Katsura sighs and says, "I have to get back, but keep your phone on. I'll call you later. Bye, Kenshin."

"Yeah," he says, sounding more miserable than he means to. "Bye."

For a minute or so after they hang up, he stands alone in the empty quiet study, trying to calm his breathing.

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Kenshin's sword is behind the bed, place between the wall and his dresser and unseen from any point in the room. It's safe and it's hidden and he was convinced that hiding his katana and working with Saito were his only concerns. That is, until Sano decides that midnight on a Wednesday is the perfect time to ask him what's wrong.

"So," his friend says, causing Kenshin to look up from his laptop, stopping mid-paragraph of his essay, "Megumi says I should talk to you or she'll get Kaoru to do it."

Immediately put on alert now, he shuts the computer and sits up, wondering what could be so important that a talk needed to be outsourced to other people. Megumi's pretty direct and though they haven't had a problem with each other, he's seen her confront both Kaoru and Sano on several occasions (somehow, like him, Miaso has managed to escape her wrath). "What's wrong?" he asks, praying that they haven't figured anything out. Since this school's pretty politically active, new of the assassination spread quickly and to someone with an untrained eye, it really does look like his signature kill.

There's a moment of hesitation before Sano answers, "You seem a little…off lately. I've noticed it too, but, you know, I'm a guy. Feelings aren't exactly my thing."

Feelings aren't exactly Kenshin's "thing" either, but he doesn't need to say this to have his friend understand. "Stress," he says. "You know, with my aunt getting worse and everything and just being a freshman in college. I think I'm cycling again."

"Cycling?"

"Bipolar disorder. Just that I'm medicated so it isn't as outwardly noticeable."

He really hates doing this, using his mental disorder as an excuse and all, but he can't help it. What else can he say? _Oh, sorry, I'm trying to balance out the life of a college student with finding out who's trying to impersonate and kill me. It's all good! _Yeah, stuff like that doesn't work in real life.

Though it's obvious Sano doesn't believe him, he says, "Oh. Okay. I guess Megumi thought it was more serious than that. Said you were more likely to tell me or Kaoru than her and Miaso." Kenshin feels a spike of guilt because he isn't going to tell any of them anything. His secrets are for both their protection as well as his own. Before he can say anything, his friend continues, "So, what do you think about the whole Battousai situation? News said he'd been on hiatus for a while."

Inevitably, Kenshin's first thought is _he knows_, but a quick prodding around revealing just genuine, honest-to-god curiosity and he relaxes a little. "I don't know," he answers. "Why?"

"Just wondering," he says. "I was talking to my brother and he said he doesn't think all these kills have been the same person because there's no 'side' chosen or whatever."

While they are more than person, up until now all kill's labeled under his name really have been his and it has nothing to do with "sides." He, like everyone he works with, is the whore of the political world, assigned to kill by whoever pays the highest. "I haven't really been paying attention outside of what I hear in class and from you guys," Kenshin says. "I've been a bit preoccupied with the whole home situation."

For the most part, Kenshin's kept his family situation vague. What his friends know is that his parents aren't in the picture and he lives with a young uncle and ailing aunt but he hasn't gotten into specifics and tries to not bring up "home" all that often. Using it as a defense feels just as a dirty as using the bipolar disorder.

"Sozo's an officer in the Marines," Sano tells him. "A captain. Every time Battousai makes a kill, Mom gets nervous. We kept trying to explain that people as long ranking as captain don't get killed, but she doesn't listen. She'll be okay in a few days, but it's annoying."

This isn't something he knows how to reply to because his roommate might be right, but he can't say that. Also, he isn't sure whether or not the imposter will be the same as he is. "I'm sure'll it be fine," he says because that's the standard awkward response to expressed worry. "It was in Florida anyway. Isn't Sozo in Jersey right now?"

Sano gives him the look. "Dude, _planes_," he says. "The guys zips around all over the world. That's why Sozo thinks it's more than one person. But yeah, he is. Cape May. He's technically been medically discharged for two years, so he can't go into combat."

Kenshin nods and opens his laptop again and the uncomfortable levels in his room are through the roof. There's a moment of silence and he asks, "Do you know what language you're taking next semester?"

"What?" Sano says. "Oh, not sure yet. Class registration opens next week, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," he answers, signing onto the internet, "and a language is required. I'm thinking of taking Russian."

"Russian? Why?"

He shrugs. "I sort of speak it already," he says. "Uncle Katsura lived in Saint Petersburg for a while before I moved in and he taught me some. Miaso wants to take it too."

"I'll save it," his roommate says. "You know, take it next year or whatever. Or take it over the summer at a community college. Being a dyslexic ESL is hard enough. Taking anything else sounds like torture and I don't think they'll let me take Japanese."

"We don't even have Japanese here," Kenshin says. "Otherwise I would've taken it. I have to take Lit next semester and I'm not exactly the greatest at literary analysis."

"Let's take the same class as Kaoru," Sano says. "Apparently she's great at it. What's the essay on anyway?"

He answers, "An informative paper on the molecular structure of human tissue."

"That sucks."

"Understatement of the year right there."

Though Kenshin knows his roommate still doesn't quite believe him, Sano's lopsided smile is enough to finally get him to relax.

Kenshin's with Kaoru in the apple orchards, sitting on the lowers braches of a tree, when the gets the text. His cell phone beeps in his pocket and he pulls it out, expecting it to be from Sano or Miaso since Kaoru's with him and Megumi believes that texting is the downfall of the modern world. Instead he finds that it's from Katsura and it's a picture of a sticky note. For a moment he wonders why he isn't getting a call in code before he realizes that the note itself gives away nothing.

_Eight, Saturday_, _91 Eighth Court, Loraville, Maine_, it reads in messy English handwriting. _Let's see who's better._

He texts back, _What should I do?_

"Who's that?" Kaoru asks because everyone is more curious than necessary in the world.

As he receives an answer, he says, "A friend from home. He's back from school Friday and he's seeing if I want to hang out."

_It's up to you. Ask Saito if he's found anything. Very little is coming up on my end._

"Oh, cool."

"Yeah."

_Where'd you find it?_

"Are you going to go?"

He shrugs. "Probably," he says. "Our other friend's going to be back too."

_Check the news._

Oh, shit. He has to study for a test tomorrow, not deal with this. "I'm going home this weekend too," she tells him.

_If this is him, I should deal with it as soon as possible._

_ You know how I feel about this. _

"Why?" he asks, only half paying attention and feeling bad that their conversation got interrupted.

_I'll feel better if I figure this out. I don't want anyone else to have to deal with this._

Basically, he doesn't want anyone to get hurt because he doesn't show, which has happened before.

Kaoru answers, "I miss my own bed. I _need _a weekend home. With my cat. And my brother. And my dad."

"Sounds like a good idea."

_I'll get you a plan ticket._

Personally, Kenshin hates plans and especially having to take two in such a short amount of time, but he's unfortunately gotten used to it since then.

_Thanks. I'll talk to you later_.

"I have to go," he says, climbing down the tree and hoping he can make it back by before two because he can't run with Kaoru there. "I'm sorry."

She shimmies down after him, obviously disappointed. "It's okay," she says. "You can make it up to me later along with Sano! I love that Megumi is evil sometimes."

Apparently, after Sano had a moment when he liked like a dick (a common occurrence), Megumi decided that the only way to make it up to her was to force him to sit through _The Little Mermaid_. Kenshin doesn't particularly want to either now that he's forced to, but even more than that he doesn't want Kaoru to get upset. Not today. Not on top of everything else. Not on top of discovering that this break of his is even more complicated than his normal timetable.

They split once they reach campus, Kaoru heading off to Hollingsworth and he to Monroe. It's already one fifteen and Professor Saito is only there until two and he runs the five minutes to takes to get there, too fast for most people to see. He squeezes through the door when some other student tries to get through and by the time he reaches room two o' eight, he still isn't out of breath. Being him does have its advantages.

He knocks on the closed door and a half a second later Professor Saito opens the door. When she sees it's him, her smile drops a little. "What's wrong, honey?" she asks and, really, Kenshin will never understand people's need for pet names.

"Is there any way I can talk to your husband about something?" he answers as she lets him in. "I mean, if it's not right now, that's okay, but some time within the next day would be great."

Before she even answers, she's already picking up the phone, dialing. "Are you in trouble, Kenshin?" she says, glancing over at him. "More than usual?"

"Not sure," he says, still trying to get over the fact that the wife of an enemy is concerned about him. And also that he's just in general working closely with said enemy to kill a third party.

Professor Saito says into the phone, "Hajime, do you have a minute to come to Monroe? Or to have Kenshin stop by?" A pause. "Right." She moved the phone a little way from her face, pressing her palm over the receiver. "Do you like falafel?"

He blinks. "Never had it," he says.

She goes back to the phone. "He says okay."

"Okay to what?"

"I'll see you later, sweetie. Love you, bye."

_Sweetie._ Oh god, when he gets the chance, he's never letting Saito live that down. Leaders of one of the most feared organizations in the world does _not _get called sweetie. After she puts down the phone, she looks back at him. "You're coming to dinner at six," she tells him without making sure he's actually okay with this, writing something on a slip of paper. "Here's the address. Besides, it'll be nice for you to know where to go besides the office. Speaking in a school isn't exactly the safest area."

Though uncomfortable with the whole situation, he agrees and accepts the car. Normally he wouldn't omit something like this from Katsura, but having to explain to his boss that he's eating dinner with the lead member of an organization also out for his blood seems overly complicated and he really, really doesn't want to be pulled out of here. And anyway, he reasons, Katsura _has _given him permission to work with the guy, and this counts as collaboration. Also he isn't entirely sure that Saito actually does want to kill him because this entire thing is so unnecessarily confusing that he actually hates it.

But he's stuck with it because it's the fastest way to catch the fake.


	8. Chapter 8

**This chapter will have a ton of mistakes. **Also, the plot actual beings to start!

I also have his background all planned out, which is partially taken from Little Boy of Lothering's "Becoming Murder" (go read it, it's awesome). It'll come up eventually.

Disclaimer: I know nothing that you recognize.

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As it turns out, Tokio (as she insists on being called outside of the workplace) had office hours and dinner isn't actually until seven. This give him an hour to awkwardly sit with Saito in the living room along with a laptop and his cell phone trying to do handwriting recognition. His eyes stay bright amber the entire time and he hasn't been on high alert like this in a really, really long time.

Saito asks him, "So, do you have a plan?"

"Yeah," he answers, glancing down at the picture for the hundredth time. In a fucked up sort of way, this type of extreme stress feels kind of good—like an adrenaline rush almost. Having real friends and staying in such a docile environment has relaxed him similar to the way he was around Tomoe and considering the way that turned out, he doesn't trust this peace much either. "Attack." A single eyebrow raises in disapproval. "What?"

"You always need a plan, Himura," the man says and of course he believes that. Kenshin's style is fast and straightforward on normal occasions because all he wants is to get it over with and sure, some people are better than others, but normally he's only at risk if he lets himself be. Or if it's Saito he's fighting, but hell if he's letting the guy in on that little tidbit of information. "Interrogate this person if you can, get the impostor talking. I want this threat eradicated."

"You make it sound like it's more than one person."

"And you don't think it is?" Kenshin stays silent because yeah, he's starting to get that feeling too. From both Katsura's and Saito's findings, as well as his own intuition, it seems like there's a direct connection between this and Jin'eh. What the connection actually is, though, still happens to be a mystery. "Good. I thought I'd been overestimating you for a moment there."

No, actually Saito's continuously underestimating him same as everyone else even though he does seem to understand Kenshin more than most who clash with him do. Besides being a "child," the reason the man made an active attempt not to kill him was because he was convinced he was trying to get himself killed. And he denies that this is true so much so that it probably is.

"I'll see what I can do," he says, "but I'm not good at dragging anything out. Also my last attempt at doing that ended in this." He pulls up the side of his shirt, revealing the stitch-marked scars up his side. "Jin'eh's killing intent managed to freeze the man's lungs. I didn't kill him fast enough and I got distracted. Got a pretty good hit in too."

When Saito makes his sound of exasperation, he actually manages to feel insulted. "Haven't changed at all," he says. "I guess I do have to be disappointed in you."

He doesn't answer, and the subject is dropped. Enough people are worrying about him, which is unfamiliar enough, and he doesn't need pity or whatever this is from an enemy. He's not a kid and he's been taking care of himself since he was thirteen. Since the age of eight, he hasn't needed to be babied.

After a solid minute of awkward silence, the computer tells them there are no results. Back in his work, they're analyzing DNA and a forensic anthropologist managed to get her hands on the remains of the victim. Normally progress is instantaneous and he can see that he's not the only one getting frustrated by this whole situation. And to make matters worse, his friends are getting more and more suspicious. Another couple of assassinations and they might even figure it out. Odds are that right now at least Sano's in denial because with a brother in the military, the description of bright red hair, amber eyes, and a cross-shaped scar is pretty specific. About as specific as it can get without mentioning height and age or actually having a picture.

And the one person in the world who can change that is Saito. Kenshin needs him on his side.

"Well, this was useless," he says, crossing his arms and looking at the computer. He's more upset than he's letting on. "Any other—what're you doing?" But Saito's already done typing something in, not telling him anything, and after a moment security feed pops up. "You haven't done this yet?"

Saito answers, "I got here after you, Himura. Did you really think I had time?"

"Don't be mean to the boy, Hajime!" comes Tokio's voice from the kitchen and her husband scowls. Now that he's gotten used to it, the fact that Saito actually has a wife is hilarious.

"Just watch," the man tells him irritably and leans back.

Not wanting to say anything and seem like more of an idiot than he already has, he stays silent, eyes trained on the video. The security camera isn't as good as he'd expected, coming from a politician and all and Kenshin might've done some pretty sick stuff, but killing someone in a heavily guarded official building wasn't such a good idea. Jin'eh had done it too and if this person really thought he'd end up in a different condition than his coworker or whatever the guy was, he was sorely wrong.

Kenshin might not like killing, but this was just a downright personal _insult_.

Finally he caught some out of the corner of his eye and immediately high-jacked Saito's laptop, pausing the video and rewinding. Then he said, "Look at the top, right hand corner," and hit play.

It's only half a second, but it's still there, a flicker of something barely visible before disappearing entirely and the politician's head moved in the general direction. Then he was back to typing in the exact same way he had moments earlier. When he finally fell down dead, it was sudden, caused by a type of speed that no one in the world but Kenshin possessed.

But it's not the person moving fast—the video's been tampered with. The imposter wants to make it _look _like he's fast. Kenshin glances towards his left side, but Saito's still watching intently.

"He must've guessed we'd be watching," the man says, hitting the space bar to pause it. "Whoever did this isn't good with editing software. The loop was subtle, but sloppily executed."

Yeah, that much is obvious. "Can we unravel it?" he asks, rewinding again to watch it. If they can uncover the original file, then they can use face recognition and find out who the guy is.

"I might be able to do something tomorrow with one of the work monitors," Saito tells him, "but you probably don't have enough time for that."

He tries to recall the time his train leaves because the plane ride (used more as a decoy of his location rather than an actual necessity to have it look like a layover) isn't until six. "It's only Thursday," he answers. "I can leave for Boston Saturday rather than stay the night."

Seemingly absentminded, Saito nods, still staring intensely at the monitor, though now it shows nothing but Senator Lawrence's bleeding body. The time reads _2:01_. "Tell me if someone on your end can do it," he says. "If no one can, you better hope the monitors decide it's a good day to function."

"I'll see if I can contact my work," he says and Tokio calls for dinner. He tries to avoid explaining that he talks to Katsura almost every day even though they originally planned once a week. Even though he's comfortable here and medicated and _mostly _stable, the truth is that his boss is something like a fucked up version of a father figure and having someone he doesn't need to keep secrets from day after day is enough to keep down the panic. "If not, I'll give you a call."

They exchange numbers even though it's obvious both are reluctant and after dinner, Kenshin walks back in the darkness alone.

.

What he discovers Saturday at eight is something of a welcome party. Twenty-one followers, the imposter, and the imposter's brother. The message gave the implication of only one man, but Kenshin could take on an army if he wanted to.

When it's all finished three minutes later, he has the imposter down on the ground with a busted knee and broken sword hand, his blade pressed against the man's throat because once he gets like this—eyes changed, muscles tense, trying to pretend that he isn't seeing inanimate bodies moving—he loses his ability to feel. Cold, unforgiving. Tomorrow he'll hate himself.

"Who are you? Who do you work for?" he says, blade pressed down just hard enough to give the large, bearded man a small nick on his neck. "Why did you decide to be _me_?"

His brother lays dead somewhere off in a corner Kenshin's making an active attempt not to look at and maybe he should've kept him alive, used his as leverage. When he gets like this he's a terrible person and can't even find it in himself to care.

"I'm Gohei!" says the imposter, cowardly enough that he breaks without any real effort at all. Apparently even a man over a foot taller than him can be afraid of _scrawny runt like this_ (his words, not Kenshin's, of course because seriously, fuck him). "I—I was told. I don't know his name."

"What does he look like?" Kenshin asks. He's making a point to avoid the jugular, but he still needs to be careful. The man's eyes look at him wildly. _Gohei_. The name doesn't come up on his internal database and everything about him is so unassuming and sloppy that it's actually a surprise to have him as the impersonator. When Gohei doesn't answer in a prompt manner, he presses a little harder and repeats, "_What does he look like_?"

To say the impostor looks freaked out would be an understatement. Normally he doesn't take this long, so the worst he gets is a widening of surprised eyes and this straight up fear makes the apathy crack a little.

"Covered in bandages," Gohei gasps out. "Can't see his face. He wants you destroyed, Battousai." Yeah, he gets that a lot, but normally not to this extent. "He's better than—"

One thing Kenshin is good at is picking up when the rambling is about to start and he's starting to feel himself break, so he does the only logical thing and slits the man's throat. He's found out enough, anyway.

.

The absolute biggest problem with killing for Kenshin is the aftermath. No matter how he tries, he's inevitably a wreck.

Half an hour after getting back to Massachusetts and letting Katsura and Saito both know what he learned, he enters his dorm room. Sanosuke's there along with the girls and for once he feels relieved at the prospect of not returning to find himself alone. There's something wrong him, his head spinning and thoughts moving too fast and silence would kill him right now. But at the same time he _does _want to be alone because on nights like this, denial is stripped from him and the gravity of what he does hits him hard and it never bothered him this much when he was with Tomoe.

They all freeze when they see him, which make him pause too. Then Kaoru says, "Your face is bleeding."

His eyes widen and he brings his hand up to his cheek. There's blood definitely, but not enough for him to notice alone in his own exhausted state. Another thing about killing is that it always leaves him tired.

Megumi rushes over, one of the paper towels on Sano's desk in her hand. "Let's go to the bathroom," she says, dragging him out before anyone else can say anything and into the bathroom. Now that Kaoru's pointed it out, it hurts. "I thought this was an old wound, Kenshin."

Explaining the fact that it's been three years and one of them still does this on occasion on days when he's a particularly terrible person will make him sound crazy, so he settles with a shrug. She tears off his bandage to inspect the wound and he has to remind himself that they've seen this before, never reacted, and it's not a good time to panic. "It just sort of happens," he answers as the door opens and suddenly everyone's crowded in their bathroom. Hopefully Mark won't walk for a shower in because that would get really awkward really fast and for Kenshin, this is uncomfortable enough. "That's why I keep it covered. It should be okay in a few minutes."

She looks at him doubtfully but gets about cleaning it anyway. "Shouldn't you go to the hospital if it keeps bleeding?" Miaso says, hovering along with Kaoru like they want to help. Sano, who surprisingly hasn't said anything, dunks out as his cell phone vibrates. The only way he'd answer at a time like this is if it's his mom or brother and Kenshin realizes that there's a huge possibility that the murder's already been released to the public.

"I've tried," he says, which is almost true. Ikumatsu is a doctor after all and Tomoe was a hospital assistant. "Ow."

"It looks really, really bad," Kaoru tells him. "What happened?"

Again, he shrugs. "I didn't notice until you pointed it out," he answers. "If you put another bandage on it, do you think it'll be okay for now? I want to sleep."

This is only half true. While he's tired, he doesn't want to sleep; his nightmares have been getting worse. There's the dull throbbing of a headache forming somewhere behind his eyes. All he wants to do is lie in the dark, staring up at the ceiling because sometimes that's all he can do. Sleeping and eating. Two things that are necessary and he hates anyway.

"Yeah," answers Megumi and Kaoru is going through the communal first aid kit to find the square bandage, hands shaking. The first one he got—the one that doesn't bleed—never was covered or fixed in the first place and that whole mess shockingly is something he rarely visits in his sleep. "You look exhausted anyway."

A moment later Kaoru's finds what she's looking for and hands it over for Megumi to do it even though he's been doing this by himself for a long, long time. Hopefully, if he does sleep, it'll be dreamless. "Thanks," he says as he's practically shoved out of the bathroom and back into the room because all of them know each other's room codes, something Megumi's roommate hates them for.

"Make sure he sleeps," Miaso tells Sano and Kaoru's giving him the worried eyes that make him want to cringe. He doesn't deserve this worry. He just killed a man, though admittedly this time it _is _for a good reason.

Soon he needs to find whoever the bandage man is because this whole college thing is supposed to be recovery, and that won't work if people keep challenging him. How twitchy he's been is proof enough.

Sano says, "'Course," but avoids actually looking at him, staring down at homework instead and god does Kenshin hate his life.

After a few exchanged goodbyes and worried glances, the girls leave and Kenshin changes in the nook that acts as a closet. Sano still doesn't look at him when he comes out and he keeps his own eyes down because while they were still blue in the bathroom, the silence is starting to get him anxious. The fact that he hasn't had a mishap yet is something of a miracle.

It takes a while of sitting in the awkward quiet, too distracted to do his homework, for him to finally ask, "What happened?"

For a moment, his roommate doesn't do anything. Then he looks up and answers, "My brother's best friend was just assassinated an hour ago. He was a colonel. It wasn't a gun. Sozo saw it happen."

Kenshin feels numb even though he knows it can't be him. Even though it isn't, this is too up close and person and he makes it a point not to think about the family and friends. Seeing Sano is dragging in reality more than it already is. But, he reasons, this _wasn't him._

"Does anyone know who it was?" he manages to get out, reminding himself that breathing is a good thing.

"No," Sano says, looking troubled. "Apparently he moved too fast. Sozo says maybe the Battousai since it wasn't a gun, but I don't know. That guy made a kill in Maine."

So he was right—it already had reached the news. He wondered if the note did too. "I thought you said it's possible he's more than one person."

"Well, yeah, I do." His roommate turns a page of his homework. "But, I don't know. The first one wasn't an assassination, so maybe it wasn't him at all. Or them. Like I said, I don't know."

How terribly ironic. The kill actually done by him given the seal of "probably not."

"I'm sorry." It's lame, but he can't exactly say _don't worry, Sano, I'll take care of this _because that wouldn't end well. That and, well, he isn't much better. Except that at least he's about as straightforward as a shadow can be instead acting all cryptic and stealing identities. "How is he? Your brother, I mean."

The other boy turns away, leans over to stuff his homework in the drawer of his desk and strong, negative emotions hurt to be around so much. "He's fine," he says eventually. "Freaked out and whatnot, but fine. Just kind of a wakeup call, you know?"

He nods because he means it. Wakeup calls are something he's dealt with a thousand times ever since he was a kid. Then, suddenly, he blurts out, "The same thing happened to my mom but—well, it was my dad. Three days after I was born. He was a Japanese politician, I don't know what he did. She was a politician too. So, yeah, I get it."

For a moment Sano just stares at him in shock and Kenshin hasn't felt this horrified with himself in a while and that's saying something. But he doesn't go and talk about himself, especially in a time of someone else's grief. Tomoe, Katsura and Ikumatsu—they knew, know, whatever. Tomoe because he told, the Kogoro's because they're the ones who found him and he still thinks about it sometimes, the steady hands gently pulling the shirt back over his head and then arms picking him up. Light as air, Ikumatsu said and she still looks at him sometimes in a way that reminds him why exactly he's doing this.

And suddenly he doesn't feel so horrible anymore. Not right now anyway.

Once the silence passes, his room tells him, "My uncle was an alcoholic. He'd been sober for three years and got killed in a car crash. The other guy was drunk. Fucking irony, right?"

Fucking irony indeed. Unfortunately, this heart-to-heart is starting to freak him out, so he says, "I'm tired."

"Yeah, me too." He twists around, turning off the light. "Night, Kenshin."

"Night, Sano."

For the rest of the night, Kenshin lies awake in bed, mind racing.

.

At two in the afternoon on Wednesday, right when he gets back to the room, he gets the call.

More cheerfully than he usually sounds because he just got an A on a philosophy paper, he says, "Hi, Katsura."

"Hey, Kenshin," answers his boss and the tone he uses makes him instantly worried. "Are you alone right now?"

He puts his books on his desk, goes to retrieve his laptop to start on Professor Dunn's homework. "Yeah," he says. "Isn't that normally why you call at this time? What's wrong?"

A slight hesitation. "Well," Katsura says, "nothing's wrong exactly, but…I need you to keep not panic. Can you do that?"

Right, because that's totally the most calming statement in the world. "Sure," he says, apprehensive. "Definitely."

The man on the other end takes a deep breath. Then,

"Tomoe's alive."

And Kenshin's eyes go dark, dark amber.

.

Hope you liked the ending! Sorry for how abrupt and disjointed it is. Internet issues suck.


	9. Chapter 9

I had way more fun with this chapter than I probably should've. It's pacing is kind of weird too.

**Note: **Tomoe's kind of OOC, but the circumstances are different than they were in the manga/anime and they dated for longer, too. Just keep that in mind. Plus it's modern, and modern affection works differently.

Disclaimer: don't own anything you recognize.

.

For a moment, Kenshin forgets that breathing is a good thing.

Then his lungs begin hurt and he remembers and says, "That's not funny."

"I'm not kidding. She's actually in my living room right now."

Katsura sounds freaked out too much for this to be a lie and suddenly he _needs _fresh air. So he pushes open a widow and shivers despite the still-warm October breeze. "B-but how?" he asks, hands beginning to shake. He catches sight of himself in the reflection of the window and the light reflects off his eyes in the worst possible way. "I—Katsura—"

"Kenshin," the man says and he's started to grow twitchy, not noticing that he's scratching again. "Kenshin, I need you to stay focused for a moment. Think, what happened that night?"

That night? "Blood," he answers. "A lot of blood. And—and snow and fucking—_I killed her_."

"But you couldn't see, couldn't hear, and you passed out from blood loss." Yeah, like he really needs to be reminded of this when he finds out that his dead ex-girlfriend's been alive for two years.

"But, Enishi—"

"Exactly." Even without Katsura explaining, it begins to click. "They'd already removed the body by the time you woke up. Turns out she was in a coma for a year. Woke up, family her you'd been killed. She goes to BC right now and is currently freaking out in my living room while my wife tries to calm her down."

Hell, because that's _exactly _the sort of thing her family would do. Self-loathing making him more suicidal in the past two years than he already was? Yeah, and this makes what he does look saintly, which is possibility one of the most selfish thoughts that's ever passed through his head. But the truth is that he's still a _person _and that has to count for something.

As evenly as he can manage, he says, "Put her on the phone." There's no please or politeness because by this point, he's having trouble simply standing there. His legs are shaking and the scratching stops the moment he feels blood on his fingers.

"Hold on," Katsura answers and though it's muffled, Kenshin hears him say, "You can talk to him, but you need to calm down. The two of you will just make each other worse."

On normal days, he might find this a little condescending, but right now he gets. He gets that the entirely of their problems have always worked off together too well. He hears the phone shift hands.

Then, suddenly, "Kenshin?"

It's like everything disappears in this moment but Tomoe's soft, hopeful voice that sounds like a dream. "Yeah," he answers, and slides to the floor because the chair is too far away. "Hi, Tomoe."

There comes the unmistakable sound of her crying and he's a step away from doing that himself. "I thought—" She cuts herself off, takes a shaky breath. This has to be a dream. Maybe even a nightmare. "They said you were dead."

"Said the same thing about you." His shoulder his bleeding and he should really take care of that but he doesn't think he ever has the capability to move at the moment. "So you've been in Boston, two hours away from me."

"Yeah. I live five blocks away from this apartment."

Five blocks. Since August they've been separated by five blocks. And Kenshin's pretty sure he's never hated someone as much as he hates Tomoe's parents in this moment. He goes to say something but all that comes out is, "Jesus Christ."

There's a pause, a hesitation. "Do you…want to meet up?" she asks cautiously and he's officially a wreck. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." That's nowhere near a strong enough way to put it but words can only do so much. "We should. I can come up this—"

"I have a car," she cuts in and they've always had a problem with interrupting each other. It feels almost normal except that they're crying and that's usual for both of them. "I only have a morning class tomorrow. I can come up right after. Or skip it and just come now."

Tomoe's probably the only person in the whole world who can go from a coma to Boston College, he thinks. "Tomorrow works," he says. "Don't miss class for me. Ask Katsura for directions."

"Okay, okay." There's no way this can be reality. He's psychotic anyway, isn't he? Maybe this is him finally snapping. "I'll be there by one, roughly. Ikumatsu's given me your number. The fact that you have a cell phone is weird, Kenshin."

"Pretty weird for me too. And that works." Suddenly he remembers the fact that he has friends and, most importantly, a roommate. "You'll probably end up meeting some people since this is a small campus."

He can practically hear her smile when she says, "Ikumatsu was telling me that you've made friends. That's great, I'd love to meet them. But I get you alone first."

When she actually gets here, he'll have to give Tomoe a heads up that Kaoru—Or, no, because it's been two years and maybe she has a boyfriend. He's been dead after all. But he shakes the thought out of his mind. "Deal," he answers.

For about the millionth time his life, Kenshin thinks his life makes no sense.

.

Though his mind is screaming at him to keep it a secret like everything else, Kenshin knows that isn't possible. She's showing up, she's inevitably going to meet everyone, and they're going to need some sort of warning. It's only fair. And besides, Katsura pointed out in the beginning of the year that friends tell each other things and as long as classified information isn't leaked, he should at least give them something about himself.

As if the word "friends" isn't surreal enough.

This is how all five of them end up in his and Sano's dorm room and it's blatantly obvious that he's even twitchier than usual.

"So you're saying that the girl you said was dead is actually alive," says his roommate and Kenshin leans back in his chair, hand twitching slightly. His shoulder stings from earlier, covered in a mass of band-aids and he's bitten his nails for the sole purpose of getting himself to stop the scratching. "How exactly?"

He can't explain everything so he quickly sifts through his mind as to what he can use and what he can't. "We were in the woods," he says, though he leaves out why and where. "And…I don't really know. I don't actually remember all of it. But there was an explosion. I covered her ears and she shut her eyes but that left me completely open and the light and sound blew my sight and hearing. I was in shorts and a t-shirt too and it was the middle of winter so I couldn't feel anything either. But then I got stabbed straight through the stomach and slashed in the face and I have no idea why anyone went after me. And I guess the guy went in for another attack.

"Tomoe jumped in front of me. I don't know why. I caught her but collapsed myself. My eyesight started coming back and it was just one blur of red and black and white. I wanted to try to get her out of there but I passed out. When I woke up, I was in a hospital in the middle of surgery to remove a bullet from my lung. Her brother was there. Told me she was dead. It's a long story, but her family's always hated me."

In all of this, he's only told one lie and it's tiring. He hasn't talked this much since the emotion meltdown he had on his godfather when he was ten. And especially not about this subject this sensitive and painful. For the past two years, Tomoe's basically been an avoided subject. His psychotic breaks starting getting worse after that and Katsura, one of the few people he talked to, probably thought he'd have one if he tried to talk about what happened.

This, before he got himself medicated, was one hundred percent true.

Since everyone's still looking at him with shock, he continues, "Anyway, turns out she was in a coma for a year and her family told her _I _was dead after she woke up, so I guess their intention was to get her with someone acceptable or something. Odds are she's freaking out on them over the phone right now. They were never on good terms and I feel horrible about this, but being with me made everything worse."

He was fifteen, she seventeen, and the relationship was so impossible it never should've happened in the first place. But it did and it still amazes him that after she found out what he did for a living, she told him how much she loved him, partially just to remind him to stay sane. For the longest amount of time he thought that was the only reason, but after she "died" he read her diary and finding out that everything she said she meant was almost too much to handle.

Right now he's trying not to wonder if that's changed.

After a moment of silence that makes him squirm, Kaoru says tentatively, "Did you ever find out who it was? In the woods I mean."

"Yoshida Noburu," he answers and there's a flash of recognition through everyone. The serial killer reached infamy throughout the world. What he isn't telling them is that Yoshida was literally _hired_ to kill him. "I'm the reason he's dead. After stabbing Tomoe, he must've stabbed himself and committed suicide." This is his second lie, but he isn't letting them know that he's the person who did the stabbing.

"That's awful," Megumi murmurs, looking down at her lap. They probably all think he's a freak, which is something he's spent the past two months trying hard to avoid. "But—I mean, you're alive. That's all that matters, isn't it?"

Okay, or not. Their looks of pity aren't making this moment any easier or less awkward. Sano tells him, "Hey, don't look so depressed. She's alive and you get to see her tomorrow. And keep your head on straight because I don't want to see another panic attack."

"Won't happen again," he says and hopefully means it. Unfortunately right after he hung up, his roommate came in and he feels so bad that someone else had to deal with that fallout. Explaining away why his shoulder was covered in blood wasn't fun and he's pretty sure Sano knows it's bullshit.

Kaoru, who was sitting, stands and he remembers that she still has a class to go to. Almost strained-looking, she says, "I can't wait to meet her," and Kenshin knows he just broke her heart in possibly the worst possible way. And it's only October. "But I've got to go to psych right now." She reaches over, gives him a hug that he returns because he'd feel weird not doing so and she deserves it. Except for Tomoe, he's never dealt with anyone liking him before.

"See you later," he says and she gives a short smile before flurrying off. Today should be the best day of his life, but he's too in shock to really process anything right now. He adds, "Sorry for this coming out of nowhere. I get that it's weird."

"It's not exactly like you have control over the situation," Megumi points out and he's getting antsy but doesn't know how to kick them out. Or maybe he just doesn't want as many people. Right now he doesn't have the capability to deal with all of them at once.

Thankfully, Sano comes to his rescue because he's a thousand times blunter than Kenshin ever will be. "Okay, you two are going to scram," he says, taking him by surprise too. "Too many feelings flying around and I have a Calc test to study for. We'll talk to you later. See'ya."

"What—"

"Let's go, Miaso." Megumi gives Sano a look that blatantly says she knows that's a lie but she'll let it past. With Miaso still protesting, the two girls leave and the awkward tension is so strong it's ridiculous.

After a second of just nothing, he says, "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it," his friend answers. "You looked like you needed it. Do you want me to leave too?"

"No," he says, perhaps a little too quickly. But even though this is really good news, it's still flipping his world upside down and his coping methods aren't the greatest in the world. "You're fine."

"You sure?"

"Positive."

Today is so fucked, he thinks. Sano asks him, "So is that where the PTSD comes from?"

"Yeah," he says, still trying to get his mind around not only the situation, but also that he needed to explain said situation to a group of people that he mostly told the truth to. "I mean, I thought she'd literally died in my arms. There's other stuff too, but I got Acute Stress Disorder right after waking up and wasn't treated on time. Already having mental problems didn't help and I originally wasn't medicated for anything. Can we do something to not talk about this?"

Eventually they end up playing video games because, like most boys, it's the easiest answer to all things problematic.

.

Tomoe is wearing a red dress with a white button-up sweater and grey Converse. Her hair is back in a high ponytail and her glasses are slightly slanted and blue. She looks almost no different.

And her kisses are exactly the same too.

"God," she says, pulling away and but leaving her arms around his neck. He doesn't move. "I've been waiting to do that for two years."

So, he thinks vaguely, no boyfriend. "Yeah," he says, reaching up and brushing her bangs from her face. "Yeah, same. I—you're actually here. This is amazing."

She smiles and her eyes look a little watery. "I can't believe it either. And you grew!"

Immediately, he feels his face flood with color, remember that he was only an inch taller than her last time. "Not anymore," he tells her. "I officially stopped, but yeah. I did a little. Do you want to go inside where we can talk?"

"Is your roommate around?" He shakes his head. "Then yes, definitely."

Even so, they spend a moment just holding each other before moving. He's reluctant to let her go, so he holds onto her hand as he leads her along, aware that they look like a perfectly average couple right now. Like nothing is wrong. She laces their fingers together and smiles. He owns one picture of them taken during the aftermath of a "business" trip at a restaurant in Greece and it never really did her justice.

When they reach the dorm room, squeezing past Mark on his way out of the suite and ignoring the look he gives them, his smile comes out lopsided and giddy and she doesn't look much better. During the first few months of their dating, she hardly smiled at all and it relieves him to know she hasn't reverted back to that. They don't let go of each other's hands even as she twists around and says, "That's your side of the room, right? The neat one?"

"Sano's not that bad," he answers and lets her drag him over to the bed so the two of them can sit. The window is thrown open and it's not supposed to be this warm in October. He untangles their fingers and slips her arm around her waist. She does the same, lying her head on his shoulder. It's the one he tore up yesterday and he holds back a wince. "So, do you have any idea what to do right now?"

"No," she says and her happiness is coming off in waves. It's been a long time since he's felt that directed entirely towards him and for once no thought of how he doesn't deserve it enters his head. Because she _knows_ and has always known and for some fucked up reason decided he was worth the trouble anyway even two years later."I just—how'd you end up in college? I got myself into BC to get away from my family, but you don't have that excuse."

Two years is suddenly hard to get his mind around because that tone of voice hasn't changed in the slightest. And since he can't lie to her, he answers, "The whole cutting thing got worse and Katsura found out. Decided that I needed a break somewhere that I'd never be alone and shipped me off here. Exactly what did—"

"You mean it took everyone _four _years to find out you have a problem?" she asks. "Remind me why I didn't tell Katsura again."

"Because I stopped for a while. Also I'm finally medicated. Thought you'd be happy about that."

From this angle, he can see the scar on her shoulder from where the sword connected. Enishi said he got her in the heart but now that he actually knows where he hit, he knows that there was no way he could've killed her. She says, "I just got myself off the lorazepam I was prescribed when I woke up. It's good that you've finally gotten help."

Since he doesn't want to focus on this subject for too long when there are about a thousand other things to talk about, he abruptly changes it. "So what did your family tell you happened to me?" he asks.

"Well," she says, "that you killed me for one, though last I checked I jumped in front of you so that point is null and void, but I just figured that was the way a fourteen-year-old saw it. I passed out almost immediately so I don't actually know what happened at this point, but supposedly you didn't catch me and Yoshida was still alive and stabbed you before stabbing himself. What actually happened? What did my parents tell you?"

A cloud passes over the sun and throws his room into half a second of shadow. He tells her, "Enishi said that he showed up at the end and my sword went through your heart. I'm not sure how much you remember, but I couldn't see, hear, or feel, so details are fuzzy. My sword _did _connect with you, though and then I caught you but dropped you and passed out. I did manage to kill Yoshida, but I thought it was at the expense of your life. I've seriously spent the past two years trying to figure out the exact logistics as to how I managed to get you in the heart when we were almost the same height but I guess it all makes sense now."

"Did you ever find out who hired him?"

"Iiruka." He hasn't said the name in at least a year and it feels wrong in his mouth. "But—I don't know. Have you talked to your parents since yesterday?"

Her shoulders tense. "Yes," she says, annoyed. "And thank god my roommates don't speak Japanese or that would've gotten _really _uncomfortable."

"That bad?"

"I think twenty years of pent-up aggression came out in a half an hour phone call. They still seem completely unable to comprehend that I was actually happy with you. But, you know, why would they want that? I swear, it's like living in the Eighteen Hundreds when the wealthy are supposed to marry the wealthy."

When she was seventeen, she never would've said anything like this, but by the time she was eighteen, she was comfortable enough to rant and he's glad she's more like that than her earlier self. The only thing that can make Kenshin more socially awkward is other socially awkward people and for a while they were both pretty bad. "So no boyfriend?" he asks tentatively, feeling stupid.

"No boyfriend," she answers. "No girlfriend?" He shakes his head. "Okay, cool. Also, Ikumatsu was telling me you were in trouble or something. What's that about?"

In his excitement in seeing her, he'd blanked on his complication. Since no one's around and she knows everything and always has, he explains what's going on to the best of his ability but leaves out some of the less savory details. Besides, Sano will be coming back soon and they need to be quick. When he finishes, she says, "Kenshin, you seriously do have the worst luck."

"Katsura says that too."

"Well, it's true!"

It takes him a moment, but Kenshin realizes he's the most relaxed he's been in a while. In his reflection, he sees that his eyes are their normal blue color without a hint of change. "My roommate gets out of class soon," he says, "which means it'll probably be him and at least one other person. But do you want to go out to dinner later? Just the two of us? The pizza isn't abysmal."

Tomoe lets out the smallest of giggles, probably remembering the pizza they tried in Tennessee. "Sure," she says. "And I want to meet your friends."

"One of them has a crush of me," he tells her. "Just so you know. Her name's Kaoru. Oh, also they all have Japanese names even though only one of them is fully Japanese. All the ethnic kids were shoved into the same orientation group."

"That's hilarious."

"I know, right?"

They sit like that for a while, pressed close and unwilling to let go, terrified of losing each other again.

.

Surprisingly, it's not as awkward as he anticipated.

When he sees her, Sano says, "So you're the Tomoe chick."

"Yes," she answers and they're all six in his dorm room, filling the capacity allowed by school rules. Good thing it's five of them normally. "Tomoe Yukishiro, nice to meet you. Sanosuke?"

They all introduce themselves and Kenshin's actively trying not to grin like an idiot because she's _back_. After having a day to compute this, it still feels surreal but he's completely accepting the fact that her family is worse than she thought and he hadn't killed her which means Katsura is even more awesome than he already had been from stopping him from committing suicide. In these past two years, he never stopped loving her and apparently she felt the same about him.

His life might not make much sense, but sometimes even he gets something good.

"Where are you from?" Megumi asks and everyone's ignoring what Kenshin had to explain to them the day before. "Your accent doesn't sound Japanese."

Tomoe smiles, all grace and poise and socially comfortable. "I pick up accents easily," she answer. "So, this is sort of a mix between English, Boston, and Kyoto. Are you from Osaka?"

Megumi blinks. "Yeah," she says. "It's been years, though."

"We're both from Tokyo, kind of," Kaoru adds, gesturing between herself and Sano.

"And I'm just from Upper State New York," Miaso says. "Bask in the glory that is my boringness."

Kaoru taps into her, shoulder to shoulder in a gesture Kenshin's learned to mean a nonverbal "shut up." Tomoe's sitting very close to him and he isn't complaining about it at all. He says, "I grew up in Scotland until I was nine. Don't worry, you aren't the only one."

"Really?" Miaso asks at the same time Megumi says, "You never told us that."

Tomoe says, "You never mentioned that?"

"I didn't think it was important!"

"God, you haven't changed at all." She's teasing him, something he doesn't experience often. "Most people mention at least once where they grew up."

He rolls his eyes, feeling himself falling back into their old pattern and he knows his friends can see it too. Most likely, he admits, being with Tomoe right now is slipping him into a hypo-manic state. For the past week or so, he's been relatively depressed for acceptable reasons but now happiness is infectious. Sano, who's sitting on the other side of him, ruffles his hair. "Well," he says, "Kenshin's always been a special snowflake."

"Hey!"

"Awkward koala is what I used to call him."

Megumi asks, "Why a koala?" and the two of them just shrug. "Sure. Why not?"

Kaoru is uncharacteristically quiet and he really does feel bad. But not bad enough to keep Tomoe at a distance. It's been two years, he should be cut some slack here and, though he hates to sound sappy, he was in love with her long before that. She adds, "We used to call him Hobbit too. He was five two when he met."

"Okay, now you're starting to hit embarrassing information territory."

"Well, I claim rights to that."

Despite himself, he laughs and he knows the difference must be glaring. For a moment there, everything feels flashback-level normal except with the addition of four others, and he quickly ruins it by moving his left shoulder. Though he holds back the wince, he's now acutely aware that he hurt himself pretty badly yesterday, which he'd originally gotten over by the fourth month into their relationship. Since her sweater is off, her scar is obvious and she doesn't seem to care.

Sometimes he seriously wishes he could do the same thing. Long sleeves aren't fun.

Miaso says, "What's BC like? I got accepted but they didn't give me enough money so my wouldn't let me go."

"I love it," Tomoe answers. "They have a really good pre-med program."

Next to her, Megumi's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "Kenshin, you didn't tell me she was a pre-med major."

"Um, I kind of didn't find out until this morning." Everyone is look at him in a way that isn't quite staring, but rather interest. Except for Enishi the first time they met until the rest of Tomoe's family got involved, he's never seen anyone so enthralled in him before. Of course, this is partially because of the "revival" of Tomoe, but the fact remains the same. This is what he gets for never really talking about anything in relation to himself before.

They talk for another hour or so about nothing in particular until it nears six and everyone decides to go dinner. They split, Tomoe and Kenshin off the Luigi's and the other four off the D.C. When the two of them were dating, they never really showed it off in public, but he doesn't complain as she takes his hand. Being back with her is brilliant in ways he can't describe.

.

Not long after he bids her goodbye in the parking lot and promises to make it down to Boston next weekend, Megumi corners him in the deserted back stairwell.

He isn't sure what he's expecting—a lecture about being careful with Kaoru's feelings, a discussion on how Tomoe's wound was not made by a normal knife—but what he gets is, "I had a really great childhood. My dad was gone a lot, but my mom tried really hard to make my siblings and me happy. She was abused as a kid and did the opposite of everything her parents did. When I was ten, I found out the only reason she was able to keep her head straight was because she took medication for bipolar disorder. Lamictol, to be specific."

For a moment, he's too shocked to do anything. Then he says, "I'm sorry," trying not to sound confused.

She runs her fingers through her hair. "I cut my finger earlier," she explains. "Sano directed me to the first aid kit. I saw you had Lamictol and a ton of other stuff and I _know _you don't go to counseling. I don't think you noticed it and Tomoe isn't around enough to, but you were pretty messed up today. Like, manic-level messed up. I thought maybe you'd want someone to talk to."

From what he's manage to gather, Megumi's kind of like him. She doesn't talk much about her own problems, so this all this comes as a surprise. "I was medicated for the first time in the beginning of July," he says feeling strange but, sort of like with Sano, oddly relieved, "so it doesn't take a lot to set me off. I told her about it today, before I was hanging out with you guys. She tried not to show it, but she was really relieved. I put her through a lot when we were together but the two of us weren't really sure what was going on and I was too scared to tell anyone. I was about a step away from ending up in an asylum. Sano unfortunately witnessed a pretty bad panic attack yesterday but I was that times ten before."

"You know," she says, "we're your friends. You can tell us stuff. We all talk to you. I'm taking it you aren't used to that?"

"Yeah." Having people notice him is hard enough; bringing attention to himself is an extra step he doesn't know who to take. "Everyone tells me that. Reciprocation isn't exactly my strong point."

She smiles at him and it's less coy-looking than it usually is. "Don't worry," she tells him. "We'll pry it out of you anyway."

And that's exactly what he's afraid of.

.

Review please and let me know whether or not I failed terribly!


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